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Teen Poetry #4
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lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

0 posted 2001-05-06 08:31 PM


what makes me an outcast?
what separates me from you?
why am i so different?
what did i do?

is there a real reason
that you wont associate with me?
or is it just because
your too shallow to see

look a little harder
inside of me
you may find somthing you like
or even someone youd like to be

theres nothing too bad about me
nothing worse than you
tell me what ive got to do
in order to please you

wear the trendy clothes you wear?
and follow like the rest?
what do i have to do
to be good as the best

what should i do
to make you understand im cool too?
what do i have to do?
to atleast please you?

its not worth it at all
your not sumone i want to be
your just someone i thought
was worth the envy

© Copyright 2001 kimberly - All Rights Reserved
Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
1 posted 2001-05-06 08:41 PM


Hey, its in to be out!

Trust me, forget the social pecking order.  If someone can't see past a sterotype, odds are YOU won't want to associate with THEM.  Just like mister rodgers says, "the inside is what matters."

:::::::Cool poem:::::::

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

JBaker515
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Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
2 posted 2001-05-06 08:50 PM


I LIKED THE POEM!!
GREAT WORK HERE!

$ Jeff $   :  )

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-07 02:05 AM


such truthful question
such well discribed words of your feelings
i liked it lots...great job and keep posting these great pieces kim...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
4 posted 2001-05-07 02:16 AM


I liked this...
Most "out" people have more to say that makes more sense than the in people...*thinks from that sentence people are going to get the wrong idea...*

Great poem.

~First they tell you, you can’t sleep alone in a strange place, then they tell you, you can’t sleep with somebody else~

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-07 12:40 PM


I really liked the thoughts that you put into this one, you did a great job on it.  keep posting all your work  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-05-07 12:48 PM


I really like the last stanza a lot.  The completing thought is so powerful and condescending towards the opposite party, I am absolutely in love with it.  
Oh but I must comment on the flow of the poem, it may have worked a lot better had you spent more time on the syllable scheme.  It helps to have a scheme of syllable to speed up the reading of the poem.  
All in all, great job!  This poem left an impression on me.
Oh and it's not necessarily in to be out, but it IS in to be your own person.  And if you're an "in" person, then c'est la vie.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-13 05:33 PM


Great job....you said a lot of good things in this poem, but I don't think you need to be envying anybody....yer fine the way you are.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-16 06:53 PM


Are you trying to join a clique?
The people who dont see you as the person you are don't deserve your attention.  Be with real friends, they'll appreciate you for who you truly are  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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