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Passions in Poetry

The Never Ending Story

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Fading Away
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since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


0 posted 05-06-2001 07:38 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Fading Away

You're bruising my wrists
against the uneven edges of this reality,
Swinging your bat at the silence
until all that remains
are these sun-kissed memories
Floating in a cracked fishbowl...

It seems like you've been gone for years,
but I can still hear your spirit
climbing my stairs at night,
searching for the loophole
until you've instead discovered
my weakness,
my solution,
and my inconsistency.

Your hands have been shaking ever since
we stopped making eye contact.
I've been standing here with my arms open,
but I'm starting to wonder if you can even
see past your own trembling creations...

Now all we can do
is collapse in the rain,
fingers laced,
minds broken,
tasting the air,
and feeling the thunder
sift between our toes.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved
JBaker515
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since 02-28-2001
Posts 1262
Dartmouth College


1 posted 05-06-2001 07:43 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

Marie, INCREDIBLE
Truly marie, this poem was awesome..you did such a great job..i love your writing!!

"Now all we can do
is collapse in the rain,
fingers laced,
minds broken,
tasting the air,
and feeling the thunder
sift between our toes."


The ending was breathtaking..
I cant wait to see more!!
till next time marie!
  

~ Jeff ~  

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!!"

[This message has been edited by JBaker515 (edited 05-06-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 07-02-2000
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Fl


2 posted 05-06-2001 08:15 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

Wow, I liked this.... very powerful words.
I look forward to more.

Jenn

"I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet

Deranger
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since 05-10-2000
Posts 528
Somewhere, between here and th


3 posted 05-06-2001 08:50 PM       View Profile for Deranger   Email Deranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deranger

FALSE AVERTISING!!!! JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL.  IT DOES TOo END.

Uh...sorry, i have some unresolved issues from my childhood....

Yes, very poignant, and not in the rotting eggs kinda way.  *Salutes*

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

anonymous albert ?
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4 posted 05-07-2001 02:02 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

definitly a powerful piece..
great writing as always..marie..
i liked it much..enjoyed also hehe..cya~

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


5 posted 05-07-2001 08:54 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Marie.  Wow.
I detected a lot in this poem similar to the poem "hate," it's sort of written with the same technique and style as you used in that one.
Which of course means that this is marvelous.
I really like this poem, it had a lot of powerful lines and metaphoric imagery (that little feature to your writing that makes you so special).  
One of your better works, in my opinion, is this one right here.  It just oozes with raw power of words.
I'm adding it to my library.  
Excellent work.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Godsend_1
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since 04-19-2001
Posts 277
great state of illinois


6 posted 05-07-2001 09:18 AM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Godsend_1

hey marie how ya doing hun i thought this poem was just incredible i really liked it a lot and i think you have an awesome talent so keep it up ok i love you *hugs*

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


7 posted 05-07-2001 01:10 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

You are so amazing baby, your writing takes my breath away.  the imagery is incredible, the words you use are powerful and go straight to the heart of the reader.  you are so talented, don't ever stop sharing your beautiful writing with all of us.  btw, i now have the song from the never ending story movie stuck in my head.  i want one of those cool puppy dragons that was in that movie, he was the best    anyway, i love you, keep writing beautiful poetry.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Child of the Stars
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since 09-07-2000
Posts 1972
Ann Arbor, MI


8 posted 05-07-2001 04:55 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Dude....VERy nice literary usages in this piece....it kicked butt...man did it ever kick butt...man oh man...............
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


9 posted 05-13-2001 05:45 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Wow Marie, this poem was sensational!
Amazing poem. I loved every word of it and the ending is perfect.
Well done Marie!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
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since 03-30-2001
Posts 1225
In a dream world


10 posted 05-13-2001 05:51 PM       View Profile for stace_co2003   Email stace_co2003   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit stace_co2003's Home Page   View IP for stace_co2003

it's WONDERFUL!!!

two thumbs up fer ya!!  

but it was really good, and I enjoyed reading it....  

sTace

(I will be okay....really)
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 07-09-2000
Posts 2238
Baltimore, MD


11 posted 05-13-2001 08:13 PM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ceinwyn

Kudos to you!! Wow I was soo totally blown away from your poem..very very powerful piece!!!! I don't know whatelse to say, just utterly totally amazing, yeah lol I have that song stuck in my head too!!! =p anywho, take care..

*hugs*
Kristen

"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


12 posted 12-11-2001 11:38 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

I'm speechless....omg....wow....*totally blank*

~AF~

"Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier

paper doll
Member
since 08-04-2002
Posts 138
Floating on Uncertainty


13 posted 09-02-2002 09:05 AM       View Profile for paper doll   Email paper doll   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for paper doll

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. There are so many elements of this that I adore and could sit here for hours unravelling every square inch of it - but I wont.

The last stanza by far is the best. You write with such a flair - it's making me rather green. Wonderful. Thank you for the read.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

 
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