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Teen Poetry #4
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Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-05 06:58 PM


I promise I won't forget the day we met
sitting together as the sun set
I promise I won't forget the first time we kissed
or all the moments together we could have missed
I promise I won't forget always to be your friend
I'll be sitting here beside you to the end
I promise never to try not to make you too mad
but you need to promise never to make too sad
I promise never to leave you hanging alone
in my heart, love's seed you have sown
The sky may fall, and the stars may too
but I promise I will always love you

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

© Copyright 2001 Angel Bee - All Rights Reserved
lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
1 posted 2001-05-05 07:56 PM


wow...cutish...i like it lots!!  you love him..you want to kiss him  lol   good job
          *KiM*

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-05-05 07:56 PM


I really really like the format reversal in the last two lines, how you made the last one the promise.  That gave the ending such an impact.  I thought that was genius.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
3 posted 2001-05-05 11:38 PM


This is AWESOME! I love it love it love it!   nice job!

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-05-06 02:59 AM


Well done on the poem. It was really sweet. I enjoyed it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-05-06 12:30 PM


Aww.. this is very well written.  The flow is very nice, and the structure of the lines was well done.  Nice work!

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-05-06 01:07 PM


this was a very sweet piece and i think yous hould give this to who you wrote it for..its touching..i liekd it...and the repitition worked very well..keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-09 12:36 PM


I'd like for someone to write me something like this  
this was really sweet Angel Bee
keep sharing my friend

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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