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Teen Poetry #4
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DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA

0 posted 2001-05-03 08:53 PM


I thought I'd found a haven
That it might be different this time
Ravening hordes demons...
Thought that I'd left them behind

I thought that there was someplace
Refuge could be found
From the very pit of despair
Thought that I'd found that place...

But all I found
Was a trial worse than any before
Faced apastacy at every turn
And only dark clouds on the horizon

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

[This message has been edited by DragonFang (edited 05-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved
LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
1 posted 2001-05-03 11:23 PM


Wow i really liked this a lot. good job.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-05-04 12:09 PM


Good job, but watch for spelling... "dark coulds on the horizon" makes sense, and the worst kind of typoes are the ones that change the meaning of the poem.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-04 08:00 AM


i really liked the image that you creted in my mind with this piece.  good job on this, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
4 posted 2001-05-04 10:15 AM


thanks for the heads up allan ~_~ I was in a sorta bad mood when I wrote it/typed it up, so I didn't really catch that.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-05-04 10:45 PM


Very nice, Dragon.  I really liked the imagery in this piece.  I enjoyed this quite a bit.  
Nicely done.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
6 posted 2001-05-04 11:05 PM


interesting poem....you write dark poems a lot...
Ravening hordes demons
was a wonderful piece of imagery
id like to delve into your mind for two seconds to find out what you're feeling..

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
7 posted 2001-05-04 11:19 PM


hehe...allan...always correcting...gawd  anyways  good poem...kinda dark...but i liked it

    good job~  *KiM*

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
8 posted 2001-05-05 12:14 PM


~cherish~
I write dark poems to channel my negetive energy into something useful. I write love poems a lot too... but I don't share a whole lot of those ~_~. Also, I HIGHLY doubt that you'd want to delve into my mind. My mind spends 90% of it's time trying to get out of itself so it dosn't have to live through the torments and the other 10% of the time contemplating going off for a coffee break. ~_~ j/k  

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-05-05 12:30 PM


Quite dark, but very enjoyable. I liked the poem very much!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-05-08 06:48 PM


Very enjoyable read indeed.  It leaves me wanting more though.  keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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