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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-03 03:02 PM

just messin round and i dont think im done with it.
its not my best but o wells!

find me here
...or in your dreams
take your pick
its up to you

lost in the shallow depths
of this world
is this reality
...or maybe your dream

dream of me
in your world
lose your heart
...or even your mind

take your pick
its up to you
find me here
...or in your dreams

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-03 03:59 PM

good job..
i enjoyed this much
i did like the way you wrote this..
and it did kinda seem something was lefted out
anyways..tho keep writing..tiff

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-03-2001).]

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

2 posted 2001-05-03 09:22 PM

I enjoyed the read. Different, but enjoyable. Thanks for the read and keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

3 posted 2001-05-03 09:52 PM

hey usually im not the one to judge on form and crap like that..but this was pretty interesting..i like..and i like the poem itself too
good job~
*KiM*

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-04 02:01 PM

Not my fav but nonetheless a good poem. I enjoyed this short poem. Well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-05-04 05:06 PM

Nice work again, Tiff. The repitition is nicely used. The flow was interrupted in a few places, though. I think if you put a little meter to this then that would be easily fixed. Nicely done.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

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