navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Unknown (Edited for Content)
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Unknown (Edited for Content) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-05-03 12:34 PM




Can you feel my pain?
do you see me out in the rain
is there some reason for your stare
or is that a question I shouldn't dare

Believe me I really am Insane
can't you feel my pain?
there is a story behind each tear
but I won't go into that here

While you speak of Innocence I see your delusion
only I know such purity as Illusion
Can you feel my pain?
A pain like being beaten by a cane

Bringing you into my world would be a mistake
to slowly drown you in this pain filled lake
You can step out of the rain
No need to feel this pain

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ<

© Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
1 posted 2001-05-03 12:37 PM


ok i liked this one alot toos!~!~!
'While you speak of Innocence I see your delusion
only I know such purity as Illusion'

i loved that *points* great job!~!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-05-03 01:26 PM


i liked this piece a lot because you really seemed to capture a feeling of reckless thought with a tinge of insanity to it.  this is an incredible piece, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2001-05-03 01:29 PM


wow! Your work is amazing.  Im really impressed by all your new poetry......amzing imagery and powerful impact.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-05-03 01:31 PM


Nice job.  I like the rhyme scheme, it works very well.  Nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-04 01:43 PM


Not my fav by you but it was still a pleasant read. Keep posting.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-18 02:29 PM


not bad at all.  actually, it's a pretty good poem.  keep it up and keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-05-23 05:37 PM


I thought this was really good. especially this stanza--
"Bringing you into my world would be a mistake
to slowly drown you in this pain filled lake
You can step out of the rain
No need to feel this pain"

Great job  

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-05-23 05:56 PM


great poem...once again...i like your style of writing...i enjoyed this one a lot...hope to see more... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
9 posted 2001-05-23 07:43 PM


this has so much passion in it.  your descriptions are really superb

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Unknown (Edited for Content)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary