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vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-05-02 10:13 AM

This one really isnt one of my best. I just wrote it yesterday, really quickly but I'm at school now (grounded from the net at home) and I wanted to post something and it's the only one I have so...Bear with me...

~*Nikki*~
____________________________________________________

~The First One To Give Up~

The invisible tears
run down my cheeks,
as they melt away my heart.
No use in trying
to put it together,
it's already broken apart.

The silent echoes
of my piercing screams,
Shatter the delicate glass.
No use in trying
to forget the heartache,
I'll always remember my past.

I'm so sick of the complaints,
the lectures,
the fake compassion.
And even worse,
the most painful pain,
must be
the verbal bashing.

Please don't tell me I can fight it,
I've been fighting every day.
Now it's all so completely useless,
I must find another way.

Please don't tell me to be strong,
or to
try to be tough.
Because the reality of the matter
is
I'll be the first one to give up.

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

1 posted 2001-05-02 11:13 AM

this is great, i like how the entire poem builds up to the last line, there is a lot more to like about this poem, but i am lazy, so i won't write it all.. peace out and take care.

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2001-05-02 01:08 PM

your grounded too? damn same here...grrr... I know the feeling......your poem is awesome....something i think about alot

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-02 01:31 PM

we should start a grounded from the computer support group, my parents did the same thing last night after i showed them my recent grades

anyway, i really like this poem, the rhyme scheme is really good and unique, it definetely caught my attention. you did a great job on this, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

4 posted 2001-05-02 01:37 PM

Hey guys thanks for the replies. I think I'm gonna bring in my poem book 2morrow and post a better one during school...So why are yall grounded? I am because I failed Spanish,and i think there was another reason or 2 but I dont really remember..Anyways, thanks guys.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-05-02 02:01 PM

funny, there is always a way around being grounded....LOL....I spent most of my life grounded LOL

I thought this was great, but I think from what I've read, that you'd be the last to give up

SEA

Silver Butterfly
Junior Member

since 2001-03-13

Posts 42
Between here and the end

6 posted 2001-05-02 02:40 PM

This doesn't suck as badly as you think it does. It was actually pretty good. Just there were two sets of words that didn't really rhyme. First "compassion" and "Bashing" and then "tough" and "up". If you change those it will be awesome.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-05-02 02:50 PM

No giving up!
The poem was well done and i did like it VERY much, but no giving up! Ya hear?!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

8 posted 2001-05-02 02:53 PM

that was an awsome poem nik..but member i love you..and just so you dont gotta be first..ill give up b4 ya!!!  and whats this about~~~>
I'm so sick of the complaints,
the lectures,
the fake compassion.
And even worse,
the most painful pain,
must be
the verbal bashing.

my compassion is for real...you should know that....and i dont lecture..i enlighten  lol...im just looking out for you!!  srry hun, im always here for you..know that k??  luv ya!!!
     *KiM*

        ::::HUGS::::

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-05-02 08:53 PM

the poem had so much to tell...
and i got every emotion and thought..
i really liked this poem...
great job....

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

10 posted 2001-05-04 11:40 AM

Hey guys, thanks again for the replies. But you see, one of my deepest fears is that I will give up, and I know that sooner or later I will. I try to be strong, but you can only be strong for so long before you HAVE 2 give up, and Im getting to that point...*Ouch* Oh well..Thanks....

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-05-07 06:39 PM

ha ha --- see you found away around it. Thanks for sharing this. Stay strong and keep your head up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

12 posted 2001-05-07 07:28 PM

great work! i liked it a lot

*Justine*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

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