navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » my love
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic my love Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-01 10:29 PM


not my best but o well....thats not the point!

you light up my darkness
your the keeper of my soul
you hold the key to my heart
you know me through and through

you always know just what to say
even when i dont know myself
you always know how im feeling inside
even when i try to hide it from you
you always know when to hold on
even when i tell you to just let go
you always know when to give me space
even when i try to keep you near

ill always hold you in my heart
my love for you will never end



“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-01-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
1 posted 2001-05-01 10:35 PM


it is a good poem,,

Humm……..chocolate

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-01 10:36 PM


Well done! You expressed your love wonderfully! I really liked this poem. Quite sweet.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
3 posted 2001-05-02 11:54 PM


Nice poem, I quite enjoyed it. heh, it rather reminds me of my own relationship.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-03 04:08 AM


i liked the repitition in the second stanza
i think it worked well...
good job tiff...keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-03 12:58 PM


The couplet at the end was my favorite part of the piece, i think that was a very good way to end this piece.  the repitition also really helps the mood of the poem.  wonderful writing, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-05-03 01:17 PM


I like this a lot, Tiff!  It reminds me a lot of my relationship too  
I enjoy reading your writing quite a bit.  This was very well done.  Nice work.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-06-05 07:07 PM


Not your best but still a great read.
you and JBaker should share ideas
keep sharing Tiff

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele,

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
8 posted 2001-06-05 11:24 PM


who is monitoring if this is your best or not?????? I like to think our best has yet to be written   I liked this very much    SEA
Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97

9 posted 2001-06-06 01:31 AM


sounds like YHWH to me.  Psalm 139.  


dr. jo

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-06-06 07:57 AM


Your love was expressed beautifully! Isnt it funny, when in love, it seems the person knows you just a little bit better then you know yourself at times?? How does that happen?? LOL...I liked it a lot...keep em comin!  
MoeRocko
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166
West Virginia
11 posted 2001-06-06 08:03 PM


WoW Tiff...... kinda late getting to this one, but I Love this one! Great Write

This Is Not Here

How do I know where to go when I don't know which way I'm facing

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » my love

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary