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Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-05-01 09:20 PM

Three hundred twenty seven blocks
in the walls of this world
the walls of a world opposite of heaven
this hell

two hundred ninteen
tiles in this room
the world few have seen
i finally fell

fifty two
fifty two inmates here
not much to do
the silence swallows the loudest yell

ten
at least ten searches a day
grab the wall and get searched again
this is hell

one
only one mistake
lost my fresh air and sun
I finally fell

one thousand three
one thousand three steps to mess hall
another part of me
lost in the well

I wrote this a few days after I got out of jail. april 30th I think. I think you can get the general idea of what it's about.

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶ØÊ†<

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

1 posted 2001-05-01 09:23 PM

i liked this...i cant really say whut i liked bout it but i liked it. i liked how the #s tied it all in together. good job. ~jO~

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-01 09:25 PM

discription of days were..great!..
i liked the way you wrote this...well done.
keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-01 10:34 PM

Nice poem.....good to see you back!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

4 posted 2001-05-01 10:36 PM

Humm……..chocolate

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-05-02 09:42 AM

well i'm glad that you're back, we've missed your writing. i thought you did a great job with this, i liked the structure and the description throughout. i hope to read lots more from you.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

6 posted 2001-05-02 01:30 PM

Jail.... hmmmm.... thats chill.

This was awesome stuff. I missed your posts!!

hope to see lots more!

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2001-05-02 02:04 PM

Very visual poem....sorry you were in jail....

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-05-03 05:28 PM

This is an amazing poem. The way you began each stanza with the numbers and ended them all with rhymes was awesome. This poem rocked. Nice work.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

9 posted 2001-05-03 05:32 PM

Great poem, the numbers make it really powerful

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