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lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

0 posted 2001-05-01 06:39 PM

"its been a whole year"

its been a whole year
since you drew your last breath
its been a whole year
since weve coped with your death

its been a whole year
that your face has been gone
its been a whole year
1 year too long

its been a whole year
since we laughed at your jokes
its been a whole year
since on our tears we choked

its been a whole year
since weve seen your bright smile
its been a whole year
since your number has been dialed

its been a whole year
but we have not forgot you
for more than a year
we'll be missing you

MAY 1ST 2000 mikey and jeff died...and this poem is for them, not the best..but a tribute that has to be made...rest in peace guys!!

*KiM*

"i once asked my daddy, daddy, are we going to the moon, and he said, we cant get to the moon from where we are" ~ME (hehe this actully happened to me

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-01 06:43 PM

this was a very touchin poem..
for me..
cuz i've lost some peoples..
in my life and its a sad and hard thing
we gotta overcome..
i really liked how you displayed the emotions...great poem
hope things get better for you

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

2 posted 2001-05-01 07:11 PM

Oh wow, you might not think its great but I sure do. Its very moving, quite wonderful. Truely emotional!

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

3 posted 2001-05-01 08:10 PM

awwwwww i dont care what anybody says but this is really good. it made me cry! (im in a very emotional state hahaha thats y i cried) this was good...lots of emotion. hope everyone who has to deal w/that is doing ok. ~jO~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-01 10:17 PM

Wonderful tribute!
But the poem.....it was simply wonderful! I really thought you wrote it VERY well. They would be so proud...

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

5 posted 2001-05-01 10:30 PM

Humm……..chocolate

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

6 posted 2001-05-02 09:49 AM

This is a really emotionsl piece, i enjoyed it. i know how hard it is to lose people close to you, and you never forget them and even after they're gone they continue to influence your life. this is a wonderful tribute, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

7 posted 2001-05-02 09:59 AM

Kim,
Hey hunnie good work. This is sad.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-05-03 05:19 PM

This is a beautiful tribute, Kimberly. I enjoyed it quite a bit. You portrayed many emotions here that hit me hard. The flow works very well, and the repitition that you used is nice.
And *Hugs* to you. You always have the memories.
Well done.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-05-09 06:01 PM

beautiful tribute Kimmie
all you have to do is close your eyes and you'll see them again
and they are still allive in your memories
so you can still smile and laugh with them

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

10 posted 2001-05-09 08:14 PM

With every "its been a whole year" the sadness digged deeper into me, creating a very emotional effect from the poem. Great job of writing it, it's really good.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

11 posted 2001-05-09 09:21 PM

I really like the way you wrote this... it was also a very wonderful and touching tribute to your friends. Things like that BITE... it's just something we have to learn to face in life... great work!

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

12 posted 2001-05-09 11:50 PM

Kimmie, it's touching that you would write a poem to commemorate your lost friends. It's things like this that really make your own sense of humanity shine.

As for the poem, I didn't like the repitition as much as everyone else did... I think it might be better if you instead kept it only to the first line of every stanza and made a third line that either rhymes with "year" (for a challenge, but remember you can use "fear" and "tear" so it might not be tough) or just go without rhyming the third line.
JMHO...
*dodges tomatoes*
What?? I am still a critic!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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