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Teen Poetry #4
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Child of the Stars
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0 posted 2001-04-30 10:01 PM


Aroma of a summer's breath
Caresses me with touch so fair
A shelter from the life I've left
A living wind so light, so bare

She dances 'round the memories
That never found their resting place
A haven from the night and dark
A growing strand of beauty's grace

Her calming rhythm pulses deep
And finds its home within my soul
A refuge hiding from the storms
A dreaming land where I am whole


© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
JBaker515
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1 posted 2001-04-30 10:02 PM


WOW!!!!!!!
AWESOME!
  
Jeff

anonymous albert ?
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2 posted 2001-04-30 10:54 PM


WOoooooooooOW!!
i really thought this was an amazing poem carly!!!!!!!!!
when r u goin stop amazing me...
i loved this as i always enjoy all ur poem..
keep writing..
WOOooooW..hehe i really liked it

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

IsGona
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since 2000-07-14
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3 posted 2001-04-30 10:58 PM


She never stops Albert,  She is a machine.  Raw talent all over the place.  Great job here carly... keep it up
Jason

Dopey Dope
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4 posted 2001-04-30 11:07 PM


I have read better from you Carly, but I expect only the best from you. You being my wittle sis and all I have nothing but the highest expectations for you. That kind of brings me off when I see a poem that is not up to your full capability. I think you do the same for me hehe.....but anyway the poem was GRRRRRREAT! I really did like you. You write well....VERY well. Better than I ever did at your age. You will become great...

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
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5 posted 2001-05-01 02:11 PM


I like this a whole lot.  The descriptions are wonderful.. these are beautiful thoughts.
Nicely done, Carly!  I enjoyed this.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

sinfully_seductive
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6 posted 2001-05-01 05:15 PM


i really like this poem.

same-sex couples are like kama sutra - beautiful but misunderstood!

LoveBug
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7 posted 2001-05-01 05:44 PM


"A refuge hiding from the storms
A dreaming land where I am whole"

Dreams are beautiful places that you lose yourself in, and your poem describes this beautifully. You know, I dream about being able to write this beautifully someday...

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

lonely*soul
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since 2001-04-05
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east haddam (moodus) ct :)
8 posted 2001-05-01 08:46 PM


OUCH harsh dopey  lol...j.p  but this was an awsome poem... (no matter what javi says)  i liked it alot~~  Great Read
     *KiM*

Acies
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9 posted 2001-05-02 01:42 PM


Not your best Carly.  Like Dopey said, I too expect nothing but the best from you.  I think you laxed a bit on this one.  I thought it was a little flat.  Meaning to say, I didn't see the emotion in this one.  Sorry if I'm being a little too harsh, but you being one of my favorite poets(yes you are in the same list as Shakespeare, Cummings, Browning, etc...), I expect nothing but your best     

Now, you know how much respect I have for your writing, give us your best so we may learn from it, and become better as poets  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 05-02-2001).]

Marshalzu
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10 posted 2001-05-02 02:38 PM


This was really good Carly... even if it is not the best it is excellent.
Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Child of the Stars
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11 posted 2001-05-02 05:33 PM


Thanks so much for the honesty guys, it means a lot.  

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

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