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Passions in Poetry

Dreams of Tears (paradelle)

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Allan Riverwood
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0 posted 04-28-2001 04:33 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allan Riverwood

staring at the rain
staring at the rain
individual drops
individual drops
individual
staring at the rain drops

cooling back her hair
cooling back her hair
as she wilts and cries
as she wilts and cries
her hair wilts back
cooling, as she cries

distant dreams of future bleak
distant dreams of future bleak
pull her tears away
pull her tears away
pull away, distant future,
her bleak dreams of tears

bleak individual wilts,
staring away, at distant, future rain
and her dreams pull her hair back
as she cries
the drops of cooling tears
© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Suga_Baby
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since 08-06-2000
Posts 400
Maine, USA


1 posted 04-28-2001 12:41 PM       View Profile for Suga_Baby   Email Suga_Baby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Suga_Baby

OMG!! Allan I LOVE this!!! It's WONDERFUL beyond justification!! WOWWIE   NICE WORK!!! hehehehe   Sorry I am just a little hyper...  
-Sara-


"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

[This message has been edited by Suga_Baby (edited 04-28-2001).]

Pixie-Babe03
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since 08-29-2000
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Central Maine


2 posted 04-28-2001 12:52 PM       View Profile for Pixie-Babe03   Email Pixie-Babe03   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pixie-Babe03

this is genius!!  i love this so much *adds it to her library*     awesome format!
-=Justine=-

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

Heavens Tears
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3 posted 04-28-2001 12:57 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

This poem was awesome.  I loved the style!  Keep it up!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Silver Butterfly
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since 03-13-2001
Posts 43
Between here and the end


4 posted 04-28-2001 04:02 PM       View Profile for Silver Butterfly   Email Silver Butterfly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Silver Butterfly

I really liked this, it seems like most paradelles dont' make much sense, but this one really did. A+
SEA
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with you


5 posted 04-28-2001 04:15 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Allan~ this is amazing....and it's in my library!  
Shygirl82
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since 02-19-2001
Posts 267
Ilinois


6 posted 04-28-2001 04:23 PM       View Profile for Shygirl82   Email Shygirl82   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shygirl82

WOW this was excellent..enough said
Always,
~Nikki~
anonymous albert ?
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7 posted 04-28-2001 05:18 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

you seemed to write..
in this style alot allan..
as always tho i thought this was great...
wonderful job on the poem..
and keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Ina
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since 10-09-2000
Posts 1331
Quebec, Canada


8 posted 04-28-2001 05:36 PM       View Profile for Ina   Email Ina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ina

Je pense que cette poeme est tres bonne. Il ya une rythm tres stable et consitent. Je vous applaude M. Riverwood.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

anonymous albert ?
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9 posted 04-28-2001 05:40 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

HUH>>??
"gga way"
"me hablo no espanol..snorita.."
"tu engels senorrita..
si?..
nada?..
aww..adios..bonita's..."??

hehe..i'm learning foreign languages!!
..?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-28-2001).]

JBaker515
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10 posted 04-28-2001 05:42 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

Allan, like usual...great!! i loved it!
katherine
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since 06-10-2000
Posts 568
Canberra Australia


11 posted 04-28-2001 10:52 PM       View Profile for katherine   Email katherine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for katherine

wow! this is awesome.
keep it up
~katie

if you don't let them in they can't see the real you

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
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viginia


12 posted 04-29-2001 11:35 AM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

i can see why you like this style so much, when you write poems in this format they turn into masterpieces.  i especially like this one, it is really beautifully written.  keep writing beautiful poetry.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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13 posted 04-29-2001 06:44 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

This is great! I liked it a lot!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

knightlyshadows
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since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


14 posted 04-29-2001 11:47 PM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

kick ace allan!!! :P
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

kaile
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singapore


15 posted 04-30-2001 02:18 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

very cool write and your last verse sure kicked ass!!

in my library for sure
takemeawaytoday
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since 04-30-2001
Posts 14
Missouri


16 posted 04-30-2001 02:38 AM       View Profile for takemeawaytoday   Email takemeawaytoday   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for takemeawaytoday

Oh man i love the poem it sent chills up my back.
Jen
vixengrl04
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since 04-26-2001
Posts 513
East Haddam, CT


17 posted 04-30-2001 10:17 AM       View Profile for vixengrl04   Email vixengrl04   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vixengrl04

This was a really interesting format that I dont think I've ever seen before.  The lines of repititon made it more powerful and I liked it.  Good work.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Fading Away
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18 posted 05-01-2001 12:47 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

Wow!!
I absolutely LOVE this format!  And every time you use it, the poem just gets better and better.  This is an amazing post, Allan!  Definitely one of my favorites from you.. this is amazing!
I LOVED this.. very nice work!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy


19 posted 05-01-2001 12:53 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

   I agree with with Marie this is really geat at always! Until your next masterpeice

       -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Sven
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20 posted 05-01-2001 01:14 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Great job Allan!!  I see that studying the paradelles elsewhere in the Archives helped you in doing this. . . this is excellent. . .

They're not easy to do are they??  

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Allan Riverwood
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21 posted 05-02-2001 12:44 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

I did this before I read the Archives, Sven.  In fact, I've done a few before.... it's one of my new favourite formats.  
And yes, they are quite difficult.    
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-02-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl


22 posted 05-02-2001 06:27 AM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

Good Job Allan... I really felt this. I was picturing, like, a flower the whole time. I'm sure you were talking about a girl, but I just kept thinking of a flower and it's petals. hehe
I don't know what a paradelle(sp?) is... but I assume it has do do with the style and repetition used.
Keep 'em coming Allan.


"I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet

[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 05-02-2001).]

IsGona
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since 07-14-2000
Posts 1179


23 posted 05-02-2001 06:54 AM       View Profile for IsGona   Email IsGona   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsGona

Interesting...
Well done Allan, interesting style.

Jason
Angel
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since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


24 posted 05-04-2001 04:49 PM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

I loved it. Definitely like the style too. Maybe I'll give one a try.

~Susie

~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

 
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