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Teen Poetry #4

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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-04-27 03:08 PM

There's this girl whi I really like
with a voice so sweet and eyes so brught
as the stars shinning above
something about the way her body sway
and her hair falls as she gently smiles at me
think I have fallen in love

There's this girl who I can't imagine life without
know I can't wait a 1000 years another lifetime
to tell her how I feel what's on my mind
in my heart and why
I feel love every time I look into her eyes

There's this girl who takes my breath away
with all the things she do and say
I would give her the world
Her smile keeps me up every night
she's all I think about always on my mind
Her eyes shines like pearls

© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved

SEA

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Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-04-27 05:39 PM

could this be sweeter?!

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Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-04-27 09:53 PM

This was good. Some spelling errors in the first stanza, but nonetheless it was good.
hope to see more

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx

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Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2001-04-29 07:33 PM

Aw so sweet!!!! =o)

luckyducky_505
Member

since 2001-04-29

Posts 53
Kentucky, USA

4 posted 2001-04-30 05:10 PM

so sweet!!! i wish a guy felt this way about me!!!! Spelling errors are major but nothign more!!!

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

5 posted 2001-04-30 10:57 PM

This is sweet.
Totally and Utterly

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Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-05-09 01:19 PM

as everyone has already said, SWEET!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Lovely_Kris
Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 176

7 posted 2001-05-09 05:26 PM

this was good and i think i have to agree with everyone else this is sweet. Good luck and i hope to read more.
Lovely_Kris

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