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Teen Poetry #4
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Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-04-27 01:21 PM




I see a peaceful island,
In the middle of the timeless sea’s.

I see a peaceful island,
In the greater scheme of things.

I see a peaceful island,
It is trying to conquer me.

I see a peaceful island,
Floating completely serene.

I see a peaceful island,
Causing em to dream relaxing dreams.

I see a peaceful island,
I don’t want it to conquer me.

I see a peaceful island,
Waves lapping up beautifully.

I see a peaceful island,
Casting its sleepy spell.

I see a peaceful island,
And it almost conquers me.

And I resist.

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-27 01:42 PM


Awesome!  Just awesome!  I really really really enjoyed this poem, Ben!  Oh man the story, the symbolism, it's all amazing!  The last line was very well thought-out and so in place.
You're going into the library of the great Mr Riverwood.  Be honoured!     
Excellent work.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-04-27 01:44 PM


forgot to hit the button....
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-27 01:48 PM


ey! i thought this poem was great...
everything worked out very well...
enjoyed the read alot
thanks for sharing
and keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

MoeRocko
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166
West Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-27 04:03 PM


Dude, this one is tight. I liked it alot Ben.
This rox

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-27 09:46 PM


How could you resist Puerto Rico?! That's a sin!!!!

Well done on the poem! I really liked how it was written and the last line kicked....good job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
6 posted 2001-04-28 08:21 AM


     I REALLY like this :-) lol  This is basically how I feel about a lot of things.  *Cough*, lol but anyway, great work!  

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
7 posted 2001-04-30 12:15 PM


y do u want to resist it? cuz it sounds so nice.  is it cuz somtimes its hard to except the good things in our lives? and let them get us? idk i be tired as u knowz lovez ya from me scarlet

as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u.  

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-09 12:15 PM


Why are you resisting?
enjoyable read my friend
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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