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Passions in Poetry

Saving Grace

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Fading Away
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since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


0 posted 04-26-2001 09:00 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Fading Away

I'm leaving for a few days.. This is the last post before I go.   I hope you don't miss me too much    I'll come back and read everyone's stuff I've missed  
Everyone write beautiful poetry for me to come to, okay?
Alrighty then..    Now for my poem...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Saving Grace

I know a girl with
Bloody hands and bare feet.
And she always hangs her head as we
Pass shoulders,
As if Iím a dusty emblem,
Representing something
She doesnít have...
Her lips are covered with ashen lies,
But they still called her beautiful,
And the rest were only clans of followers,
With dirty fingernails
And unparted hair...
I save my sorrows until after dark,
When the flowers nearly burst
With their own perfumes,
And the sky is almost fluid,
Like gray liquor,
But there are too many moonrises to watch,
And I just donít have enough words
To paint them with.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


1 posted 04-26-2001 09:06 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I really enjoyed this poem marie.....wow.
The ending was great and the whole theme of the poem rocked. WELl done, very well done. I see how your poetry is improving along with every new post you put up here. I am always impressed by your work. Looking forward to your next poem after you come back from wherever it is you're going  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Crystalina123
Member
since 01-31-2000
Posts 229


2 posted 04-26-2001 09:12 PM       View Profile for Crystalina123   Email Crystalina123   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Crystalina123

I'm reading this poem and I think I"ve got it. Then I read it a second or a third time and I get another meaning out of it. The poem reminds of an army of mindless followers who blindly follow societies norms. I'm not sure if I'm on track here, but either way, I really like this poem.

"I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be the greatest fan of your life."
"You don't love her because she's beautiful. She's beautiful because you love

Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
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Winnipeg


3 posted 04-26-2001 09:24 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Outstanding work, Marie!  This is really really good, it had the feel that "hate" did.  I love your usage of similies, your creative wordings... and
"I save my sorrows until after dark,
When the flowers nearly burst
With their own perfumes"
THAT part is incredible.  Awesome work.  
One of my favourites, a milestone that goes to my library.  
Can't wait to see you return.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.††Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.††
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


4 posted 04-27-2001 02:59 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

wowww
great poem...
awesome description..
i really liked this one..
but i'm sad 2 hear u r leavin'
hope u come back soon
since i'll be missin ur poetry and of course u the most..
anyways..
have fun wherever u r headin
and write some poetry there..
alright then..
cya..

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


5 posted 04-27-2001 09:44 AM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

kays i woke up
this was great!so sad.
im addin it to my library

As if Iím a dusty emblem,
Representing something
She doesnít have...
Her lips are covered with ashen lies,
But they still called her beautiful,
^ loved that
tiff

ďA single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.Ē

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 04-27-2001).]

vixengrl04
Senior Member
since 04-26-2001
Posts 513
East Haddam, CT


6 posted 04-27-2001 10:21 AM       View Profile for vixengrl04   Email vixengrl04   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vixengrl04

I definitely like this.  It's kinda got a sad, somber, and yet spooky theme to it.  At least that's what I felt when I read it.  Good work.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Heavens Tears
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since 03-15-2001
Posts 832


7 posted 04-27-2001 12:15 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

Beautiful poem.  It has a really strong meaning.  Very nice!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Linc
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 705
The Backstreet Boy


8 posted 04-27-2001 02:49 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

      *Sniff* I will miss you * I loved the poem and now I am going to go cry some more :'( bye  

      -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Child of the Stars
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since 09-07-2000
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Ann Arbor, MI


9 posted 04-27-2001 03:31 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Cripes Marie.......oh man this was good...Don't go for too long, I'll miss your talent too much...Have a sunshine day and many more for when you're away...Yeah this is goin into the library...man....sheesh...wow....ok I'm done...
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

banburycross
Senior Member
since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


10 posted 04-28-2001 04:22 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

There are so many times that i read something you've written and i finish it in awe of your talent.  the images are incredible and your words only slightly less beautiful than you    i miss you baby, come back to me soon.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
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since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


11 posted 05-03-2001 03:35 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

Wow, you guys.  Thanks for the replies!  I'm glad everyone liked it.  

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

anonymousfemale
Member Ascendant
since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


12 posted 12-11-2001 11:28 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Holy crap Marie!!! *faints*
This is...just wowish. I LOVE how you wrote this. No one could possible write it better if they tried!!

I have nothing to say that could possibly give you enough praise so I'll say well done and leave it at that.

~AF~

"Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier

 
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