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Teen Poetry #4
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One eye in paradise...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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One eye in paradise... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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One eye in paradise, I’m strolling ignoring humanly affairs. Just yesterday, I’ve heard my calling as I was walking up the stairs. Right by my door, there stood an angel. His hair was messy in the front. I told him, “Listen to me, stranger, the stuff you’re selling I don’t want.” Of course I didn’t know his purpose, I thought he worked for Pizza Hut. I tell you, angels on the surface, are just like you and I. I’m glad that he convinced me at that instant to let him tell me who he was. He said he came to Earth from distant, old galaxy called “for the lost.” He said that I would die tomorrow, he came to hear my final pleas. My heavy heart was full of sorrow, It brought me falling to my knees. I begged him not to take my life. I said I had an obligation I simply couldn’t leave my wife,-- he couldn’t help my situation. I started praying and confessing that I was full of guilt and shame. But then, as though a pious blessing,-- he called me by my neighbor’s name. I started dancing, laughing, spinning. He looked at me like I’ve gone mad. I took a breath and laughing, grinning, I said, “You want 6G instead!” He said, “Excuse me,” left me sighing. And it occurred to me right then that I’m eternal and undying, that death occurred to other men. Check out my poetry here: |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Master, that was really cool. Big twist on the ending. Threw me way off. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Its great don't get me wrong but I don't think its one of your better ones but I still love it the ending also shocked me  Until your next masterpeice master  -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
Hey this was great!! i sooo LOVED the ens with the big twist!! it was cool. keep it up!!!!!! lots of love, Dana |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I really liked this piece... another impressive one from the master! The end was really different, very unexpected... and the last lines summerize the attitude that most people carry around. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very clever!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
hahaha!!! I could just picture you dancing and doing some little irish cheer. That was great! What a fun read......VERY clever and well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Awesome, Master! I really loved this a lot! What a fun story, it's nice to see something a bit lighter in tone than your other works. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
you're as good as they come "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
wow, this is really good! i think i'm going to have to check out your site soon to see some of your other stuff! cause if that isn't one of you better ones the others must be awesome!! *Justine* -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
i liked it..fun to read *KiMMiE* |
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