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Caged Roses

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Fading Away
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0 posted 04-25-2001 07:47 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Fading Away

This is very different from how I usually write.  I've been trying new things lately, and this one's full of symbolism.  Just something new..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We're doves in this lake of weapons with
Eyes bleeding peace.
Sidearms and combat boots and
Hearts drowning in the muddy battlefield...
The horizon is nothing but dry lightning,
Electric dust suffocating my memory,
But it's been years since the sun came out.
And even longer
Since it rained water instead of
Pebbles -
I've ripped so many silhouettes apart with this
Dull knife...
I think I've forgotten
Which side,
Iím fighting for.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-25-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you


1 posted 04-25-2001 09:10 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Wow.....this is very creative and expressive!    SEA
LoveBug
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2 posted 04-25-2001 09:37 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a really powerful piece. The symbolism is really strong, and I can't say that I understand everything behind it, but I liked it all the same. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

AngelPoet87
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since 04-21-2001
Posts 418
Indy


3 posted 04-25-2001 09:41 PM       View Profile for AngelPoet87   Email AngelPoet87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AngelPoet87

Great poem. The images come in strong on this one, great description and symbolism.

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

Dopey Dope
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4 posted 04-25-2001 11:51 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I enjoyed this VERY much. Wow this was such a great write. I so loved this poem. VERY well done on everything within the poem. The ending was great!
Wowish.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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5 posted 04-26-2001 01:04 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

thats great that u tryin new styles
and this one turned out wonderful..
i really liked it ..
enjoyed ur poem marie!
thanks for sharin and keep writin...

..?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-26-2001).]

Marshalzu
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6 posted 04-26-2001 10:54 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

There is a load of great symbolism in here, I thought it was absoloutely marvelous.Keep up with the experimenting.
Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Godsend_1
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since 04-19-2001
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7 posted 04-26-2001 11:04 AM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Godsend_1

i really liked this one th e symbolism was incredible it was a very strong piece i thnk you did an excellent job hun keep it up *hugs* i love ya

ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Godsend_1
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since 04-19-2001
Posts 277
great state of illinois


8 posted 04-26-2001 11:05 AM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Godsend_1

oh no how dare i i did a double post plz forgive me friends i shall try and never do it again

ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love

[This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 04-26-2001).]

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy


9 posted 04-26-2001 01:07 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

    I hate to say it but...this poem isn't on of my favorites of you but never the less its still good and I hope you continue to try new things  Until your next masterpeice

        -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Allan Riverwood
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10 posted 04-26-2001 08:18 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

For some reason I'm with Linc... this didn't appeal to me particularily.  Must just be the new form you are using.  But hey, you seem to have a lot of admirers of it so keep it up, girl.     
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.††Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.††
~Unknown

anonymousfemale
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11 posted 12-11-2001 11:13 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

I LOVE your ending!!! OMG! It totally kicks major ass!! *calming down*

It is a different style from you which is a good thing because it means your branching out into unfamiliar territory. I applaud your bravory.  

Another wonderful write. Will you ever get tired of my praise?  

~AF~

"Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier

 
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