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Teen Poetry #4
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Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-04-24 10:31 AM



i feel my world falling out of place
and i know that there is nothign i can do
i try and stop it to make it right
but things just keep going down
first you over there you left me
you went to a place far away
i know why you left and i am cool with that
but i still want you to return to me
and then you over there in your home
you make the world crush down
when i look at you i begin to cry
and weep for your lost soul
you have no idea how you hurt me
i began this morning with tears
i dried them away so ppl would think i was ok
but i'm not i hurt i feel alone
you might be leaving also
and there is nothgin a guy like me can do
i scream with despiar and look at a knife
oh man what am i going to do now
i wonder why these things happen
if i caused them and if there my fault
they probobly are but i dont know how
it seems all things are my problems
i look to my side and baby i see you there
and i wonder why you havent yet left me
you see who i am and the porblems i have
and yet you stay near
somethings i dont understand
but i put up with them anyway
other things that i dont get
i scream in rage and say 'go my way'
but again i am alone in my room
wondering where you all are
i look to my left and then to my right
and i think i see your shadow
i try and see closer whos there
but you may just be my imagination
i sit all alone in my cold lonely room
alone cause you all have left
i weep for my misfortune
and i cry for my lack of things good
i feel a hand upon my shoulder
then another and more and more of them
i look up to see the people i love
they are here they were just hiding in the dark
they saw my pain and how i felt
and how i wanted to die
so came and put there hands on me
and told me its going to be alright
i look at them and they look at me
and they tell me not to leave
i ask if they wouldnt be better without me
they look at me and laugh and say
'without you some of us might not even be here
but we are cause we felt like someone cared,
you told us you loved us
and now its our turn
we love you ben and we dont want you to leave
please put away the knife in your hand
and come over here with us
we will hang and chill and talk and feel
and we will be together always
even when one of us leave
dont worry we will never forget you ben'
i look at them as the look at me
and i tell them i dont deserve them
and that they should just let me sleep
and sleep away this hard hard life
and let me dream of a better place
they tell me no and please dont go
so we go over the to corner os my room
and we sit and talk about many things
about how we feel and things not understood
and in my room i feel glad
i am with the ppl i love most
and as get ready to leave
i realize we said hardly a thing
and yet i feel like we talked for hours
getting everythign off our chest
and you know what
i guess that is what real friends are
and i sit and i wait for them to return
all alone in my room


i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-24 10:43 AM


I like the last line, it was well thought-out.  As for the rest of the poem, I hope you're ok man.     If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to PIP I'm sure.  Me too, if you want to talk I have most IM programs (because I'm a loser!  :hungover) so just tell me whatever I need to know.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-04-24 12:33 PM


i love you
Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
3 posted 2001-04-24 03:53 PM


i love you to tiffany i hope you know that i really do


and allan and for anybody really if you got yahoo im then feel free to pm me my sn is roric5 just pop up and say hi   i am glad you guys like my poems cuz i think i stink lol

ben redshaw the great

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-24 10:15 PM


Wow that was a long one PHEW!
well done though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-04-25 07:27 PM


I really hope you're okay.  *hugs*  Things'll get better.. just hang in there.
This poem was really good, it was long, but well worth the read.  Nice work.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
6 posted 2001-04-25 07:48 PM


i thought that poem twas cool.  but then again ben i alwayz like what u write even though i might not like what got u there to write it.  i may help my friends but my friends r y i'm here to.  like i can understand what ur saying.  thinks i will have to put this to my libary... loves ya lots ben

as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u.  

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
7 posted 2001-04-25 08:24 PM


Oh wow, this was absolutly wonderful. Brilliant writing, absolutly fantastic. I can't praise you enough on this one. Great, great job.

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-04-25 08:29 PM


hope things get better for u
and nice poem......
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

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