navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » But a Few
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic But a Few Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-23 10:25 PM


The soft touch of your finger-tips,
The warmth of your embrace,
The softest whisper from your lips,
Makes a smile cross my face.

The shine in your loving eyes,
The way you make me feel,
The little loving games we play,
Old wounds that you’ve helped me heal.

The beauty in your little laugh,
The purity in your grin,
If loving you is a crime,
Then mark upon me that sin.

Dearest Angel of my Heart,
These are but a few,
Of the reasons that
I love you as I do.

"No one holds command over me.
No man.
No god.
No prince."

© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
1 posted 2001-04-23 11:08 PM


Oh, i like this one. good job here.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-23 11:16 PM


i liked this one also...
niceeeeeeeee job..
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-04-24 02:00 AM


Sweet job on this, bro.     A critique would be to use a bit more meter in the poem, it would really help this one to flow.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
4 posted 2001-04-24 07:19 AM


Yeah, I was thinking that too, after I re-read it. But this was a short, five-six minute poem that I wrote on a moving school bus, so at the moment, I wasn't think much about it.

-Kosetsu

"No one holds command over me.
No man.
No god.
No prince."

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-04-24 08:58 PM


Nice job.. this was very sweet  
I enjoyed this.. keep posting!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-04-24 11:05 PM


Very well done.....sweet!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2001-04-25 01:18 AM


yep, very sweet....tugs at the heart...   SEA
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-04-29 10:23 PM


such sweet words expressed.  This person means a lot to you I see.  Thanks for sharing this piece, keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » But a Few

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary