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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-04-23 05:05 AM

You chose the highway and I’m holding back
These tears inside of me I’m feeling so sad
You went your way and we drifted apart
But is it to much to ask not to break my heart

I’m holding back
Cause I don’t wanna be the one
who’s standing in the way
I’m holding back
Cause I only wanna see you strong
See you smile each day
I’m holding back

As you said goodbye my heart stood still
Realizing that is not a dream it’s for real
You’re leaving and there’s nothing I can do
But then to close my heart knowing that we’re through

silvrduck
Member

since 2000-11-05

Posts 146

1 posted 2001-04-23 08:11 AM

Ouch. It's always hard to let go of someone.. keep your head up though

Anyway.. I really liked this one, the rhythm break for the middle stanza was good.. keep it up!

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-23 11:34 AM

For the majority of the poem, the flow was okay. There were a few spots where it was interrupted a little. I liked the way you split up the stanzas..
This was pretty good, not the best I've seen from you.
I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I hope things get better.. stay strong and keep writing, it helps

Nice job.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Bishop
Junior Member

since 2001-04-22

Posts 30
Nottingham, England

3 posted 2001-04-24 02:10 AM

Cool. I neva want 2 let sum ppl go 2, i no how u feel

^*Bishop*^

*Evil has many faces, and I'm one of them*

Bishop
Junior Member

since 2001-04-22

Posts 30
Nottingham, England

4 posted 2001-04-24 02:10 AM

Cool. I neva want 2 let sum ppl go 2, i no how u feel

^*Bishop*^

*Evil has many faces, and I'm one of them*

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-24 09:48 PM

Very sad here. I liked it though. Hope all gets better for you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

6 posted 2001-04-24 10:02 PM

Ohh, sorry this is going on

But it'll be okay

Good writing.

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-04-29 10:12 PM

You've shared such deep emotions on this poem. Hope things to go your way. Keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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