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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-22 11:01 PM

Be Proud

Be proud
How deep is our truth
Beneath the sea
Makes no difference to me
Our honor lies
In a place non-existent
If truth is a sword
Our lies a smoldering iron
Ready to bend truth
Into whatever we wish
Be proud
We've conquered
What tears us apart
----------------------------
A little short ditty from my spare time. Sometimes this mind seems more older all of the time. You know what happens when you get older? You shrink.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-04-23 01:22 AM

I like your afterthought, namely the phrase "Sometimes this mind seems more older all of the time." This is genius. Pure genius.

As for the poem, it had a very unique flow, due to the format. Quite fragmented, but nicely done.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-23 12:00 PM

"Be proud
We've conquered
What tears us apart"

VERY NICE! I enjoyed this a whole lot! The structure of the poem is very unique... nice work!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-23 04:02 PM

this poem was great..
i really enjoyed this one..
and for the thought after the poem
it jus made me think bout stuff...
awsome job..
until ur next

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-04-24 03:58 PM

Is there half-genius?

Well i liked this poem a lot. Especially the ending.....very very well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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