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Teen Poetry #4
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Deranger
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since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

0 posted 2001-04-22 06:26 PM



Bearing Red Flowers

No more grieving for the petals, that lay crushed upon the floor
No more waiting in the rain, bearing red flowers before her door
Before me you now stand, pale and bearing empty hands-
White cloth spread across the table, and I’ve laid you down

Beside me, now she lies - bearing dead eyes
Loneliness to the man who lives without love-
Tribulation to the one who tries—to live with it
And this curse, is ripping my poor soul apart
The taint of temptation - went straight to my heart,

She-demon on Angel’s wings, fate now sings-
In melting melodies and the conspiracy symphony,
Sentence served, in the prison of her smooth skin
Her face was my tower, and her mind my warden

She has the audacity to question my faith
But she’s the one, wearing the batrayer’s face
And I bled before her, bearing red flowers-
To her smile that haunts me all day, every waking hour…

I’d like to pull off her wings, feather by feather-
But I wouldn’t want anyone else to weather
Such storms as I’ve seen—My love has sent me nether
So I stand, in the twisting ether of myself…

Bearing red flowers…

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

© Copyright 2001 Alexander Crino - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-23 12:56 PM


Very nice remix.  I know of some artists (namely industrial and techno artists, but hey) that do remixes and add a name to the remix in brackets, like "Bearing Red Flowers (title of remix)."  It gives a neat idea of what the difference between the two is.  
It might be interesting if you were to put a name to the remix.     
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-23 03:16 PM


I enjoyed this!  Nice job, Deranger.  Enjoyed, as always  

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

LoveBug
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3 posted 2001-04-23 04:05 PM


"Loneliness to the man who lives without love-
Tribulation to the one who tries—to live with it"

Umm... WOW! This is an amazing piece. The structure, the words, the emotions... I'm very very very impressed with this one. It's going in the library. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-24 03:55 PM


Not my fav by you, but still good. I enjoyed it, but I know you can do better.
Something that I found interesting though was the fact that it was a remix. Never seen that done. hehe
:smkoin:

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-04-24 03:57 PM


nice...r..re..mix..
very good job on the poem
enjoyed it lots
keep writng

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

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