navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » What If...
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic What If... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146


0 posted 2001-04-22 06:25 PM


what if I failed..
would you appreciate it more?
what if I stopped..
would you realize I tried before?
would you remember the times
when it was taken all for granted?
how about the times,
you had to make sure it never lasted?

know now that it’s over
yes, you made me give it away
the way I wanted things..
things for which I had to pay
don’t worry now, mother
it’s all too late for regrets
why, even if you had listened..
I’d still have found my lively debts

what if I begged..
would you decide to come through?
what if I kneeled..
would that be too real for you?
what if I cried to you, mom..
would you feel any remorse?
oh silly me..
No, of course.

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

© Copyright 2001 silvrduck - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-23 12:54 PM


Oh... so very interesting, this one.  Really made me tilt my head and smile.  
Excellent work.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-23 03:20 PM


All the poems today are really making me think!  I liked this, silvr.  It was interesting.  It made me sit back and read it again.  
Nicely done, here  

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-04-23 04:08 PM


Parents parents parents... I can really relate to this one. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good relationship with her, but you write about this very well. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-24 04:11 PM


i liked it very much. hope to see more from you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-04-24 06:20 PM


this is a interestin poem on this subject
u wrote on. hope things get better as all have said it left me sittin here thinkin bout some stuff...nicely done

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

6 posted 2001-04-24 07:41 PM


Do you have a bad relationship with your mother?  I understand how you feel, if you do.  Well, it was a great poem.  Keep writing!

*~*Amanda*~*

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » What If...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary