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Teen Poetry #4
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Terminal Disease
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Terminal Disease |
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Bishop Junior Member
since 2001-04-22
Posts 30Nottingham, England |
My first:- A part of my most vital, suffers a sacred disease. When we share the air I act as if at a recital, she holds the remedy that I so badly need. Like walking on hot embers. My desire to turn back, evacuate this one-way track. This pain has begun to dismember. The end of this pain is nigh, in the distance I can see the light. I move faster and start the fly. But I am hindered as it is too bright. As the vision engulfs me. All that remains are a few scares ^*Bishop*^ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Matt Bishop - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice job on this one, your first.  I like what you described, walking towards a light that is too bright after all. Well done, and welcome to Passions in Poetry. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions!!! I really liked how you ended the poem. The last line especially was quite impacting. Well done on the poem and I surely hope to see you posting and replying a lot!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
the title of this one got my attention, it seems riddled with symbolism, i like it alot, nice job and welcome! i am blinded by the silence of a breaking heart... i cant see myself |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great first post.. also very nice job on the poem and WELCOME to PASSIONS hope u like it here.... keep writing   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Welcome to our world. Hope you enjoy...loved the first post, magnificent...see ya round! ~Carly There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions! Wow.. lots of newbies as of lately! Very nice first post, I liked this one. It caught my attention. Very nice. Again, welcome.. and I can't wait to read more. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions!! This is a wonderful first post, especally the ending. I hope to see more of your work soon!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Welcome to Passions Good job on your first post Bishop! I hope you like it here and stay around for a long time. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was a great first post!!! Welcome to passions!!! |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Very deep, I liked the language! Interesting, intriguing and inspiring! ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Welcome and great first post. Hope to see you around more often. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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