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Teen Poetry #4
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boarderfreak9
New Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 3


0 posted 2001-04-22 12:02 PM


2 impress some one,
b yourself,to turnoff someone,
try to impress them.

© Copyright 2001 boarderfreak9 - All Rights Reserved
sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
1 posted 2001-04-22 12:34 PM


interesting analisis
anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-22 01:30 AM


the poem had some thoughts.. short and nice.

i think you should take the time to write
the whole word out instead of abreviating them

keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-22 02:09 AM


Hey this was good! hehe. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-22 02:30 AM


Ooh, almost a senryu.  One less syllable in the center and it IS a senryu.  
Either way, nice poem.  Still would have been neat to say "senryu!"  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-04-22 03:18 PM


Good job on the poem

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.  
Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum?

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
6 posted 2001-04-22 07:08 PM


Oh... Allan and his senryu's hahaha
I agree tho... the harder you try... the more you're bound to screw up.

"I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
7 posted 2001-04-23 03:32 PM


I think that maybe you could go back and make this a senyru.  I don't think it would be too difficult..
Anyway, very nice poem.  Interesting.. made me think.  Nice one.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-04-27 03:21 PM


true, very true  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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