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Teen Poetry #4
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Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-21 09:50 PM


I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Be the one you love tonight.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Hold you oh so close and tight.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Hold you ‘til the day’s first light.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
See you ‘til I lose my sight.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Love you ‘til life’s final night.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wishes I wished tonight.

"No one holds command over me.
No man.
No god.
No prince."

© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-21 09:55 PM


good job on this adam...
the repition was right for the poem.
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-21 09:59 PM


Awwwwwww this is so cute. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
3 posted 2001-04-21 11:12 PM


hey that was cute and simple and good
katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
4 posted 2001-04-21 11:36 PM


it's sweet.
~kate

'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.'

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
5 posted 2001-04-22 01:47 AM


Great job using an old rhyme and making a poem out of it. Very creative and really cute and sweet.  

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-04-22 02:27 AM


I liked it alright, but it got repetitive after a while.  Just my humble opinion man.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

7 posted 2001-04-23 08:53 AM


Great poem.  It was very sweet.  Kinda sappy, but oh well.

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-04-23 11:31 AM


I think that the repitition here worked real well.
I enjoyed this.  Nice job.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
9 posted 2001-04-26 11:24 AM


i liked it it was simple and cute and showed alot a love kepp it up man you rock

ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Linc
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Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
10 posted 2001-04-26 12:59 PM


Hey,

      This is so sweet I am sending it in a e-card to a friend. This is a superb poem I loved it as always. Until next time

     -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2001-04-26 05:49 PM


this is really wonderful  
Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
12 posted 2001-04-26 06:20 PM


This is so sweet!! I loved it.  Great job
~Nikki~

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