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Teen Poetry #4
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Me Without You
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Me Without You |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas 
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Me Without You You alone consume my thoughts, Control my actions, emotions, all of me. Held in your caring arms Is the place that I desire to be. I long to gaze into your eyes which God has made shine Like the stars in the skies But with a different brightness One that captivates me Just as everything you do You erase my past sorrows But create pains anew For my feelings are stronger Than yours ever could be. For no one like you Could ever love some one like me. *TiMMYBoY* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tim Church - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the poem, but in the first stanza, last verse......is that meant to be a question...if it is then shouldn't it have a question mark? I know i know, very trivial analization, but hey.. Anyhow nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
that was cool. i know that feeling. but those feelings can somtimes hurt us more i think. like idk i can relate i think it was cool. as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
It is a good poem,but the title threw me off. I guess I was expecting a little different theme in the poem from noticing the title. Very good though |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
OMG, wow, amazing work. I can relate to this so well, I think alot of us can. Really, really wonderful job. Keep up the excellent work, bravo once again. ~ali 2Good |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Outstanding! I think this is probably my favourite of the ones I've read from you so far. The title works so very well... Awesome job! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow! this poem was jus great... i liked how u wrote it the way u put ur thoughts in iteverthing.. keep writing.. and until ur next   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
actually, the last verse in the first stanza isn' supposed to be a question; Held in your caring arms / is the place that I desire to be. And it's weird, 'cause when I wrote this [yesterday] I wasn't in love.. lol, I'm just weird  *TiMMYBoY* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Beautiful work here. You expressed yourself so well on this one. I do hope to see more of your work. Thanks for sharing and keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
For my feelings are stronger Than yours ever could be. For no one like you Could ever love some one like me. Ok... I *really* like this one! I mean, A LOT. I can relate to this so well.. *sigh* I think this is the first i have read from you.. Keep posting, i want to read more *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Amazing work! This is simply beautiful. It's another one that's going into my library. Very nice job! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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