navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » You and I
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic You and I Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-21 11:33 AM


You and I

I love the way you place soft kisses upon my head
I love all the sweet words that you have said
I love the way you wrap your arms around me
I love the way you take me to new heights and help me see

  I love the way you kiss and hug me out of nowhere
  I'll never leave your side, I promise, I swear
  I don't know if this is love, but my feelings have never been stronger
  Not being with you seems to get longer and longer

I love the way you always make me laugh
and the way you stand up for me on my behalf
I love the times when I just sit there in your embrace
because when I get up I know the world is somthing I can face

  I love the way you make me smile
  For you I would walk that extra mile
  I love how when you smile you seem to gleam
  and how I know its for me that you beam

I love the way you're there for me no matter what
You are everything I've always wanted and nothing but
So now that I know you won't leave, I'll give you my heart
I hope that you and I will never part

  Here with me you won't hurt anymore
  There is so much for you and me in store
  So now that I've got you here to stay, I'll give you my heart
  Because you and I are going to make a wonderful new start


*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

[This message has been edited by Angel Bee (edited 04-21-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Angel Bee - All Rights Reserved
AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
1 posted 2001-04-21 11:49 AM


Aww, great job!! Very very heartfelt and wonderful job keeping to the pattern. The rhymes were not forced at all which makes a world of wonderful difference. Great job, again!!

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

MindlessPoet
Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106
Texas
2 posted 2001-04-21 11:53 AM


What a nice poem    I liked the emotion and the nice flow.  Keep writing!

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me.  The Weird One.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-04-21 12:22 PM


I think the organization of this poem is fantastic.  Very high praise to you, AB.  The way you spaced in every other stanza gave an incredibly unique feel to it.  In fact, this poem is going to hit my library.  
Very well done.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-21 12:22 PM


forgive the double post  

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-21-2001).]

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-04-21 12:31 PM


Hehe.. Allan sure liked this one!
As did I    I really like the flow.  And your portrayed love so well.. I know how you feel.. Love is a great thing, huh?  
Very nice job, here!  I enjoyed this quite a bit.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-21 12:59 PM


Hey guys,
  Just wanted to make sure you got the poem, each "stanza" is the other person talking. Just to let ya know. :o) Thanks for the nice comments. lata, ~ab~

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
7 posted 2001-04-21 01:08 PM


wow...great job i reaaaallly liked this one....HOORAY FOR ANGEL BEE!!!  good job hun, and post sum more k???
    *KiM*

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

"i once asked my daddy, daddy, are we going to the moon, and he said, we cant get to the moo

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
8 posted 2001-04-21 08:01 PM


thanks kim :o)

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-04-21 08:29 PM


NIcely done here. Beautiful poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-04-26 05:52 PM


You seem to show contentment.  Good for you Angelbee.  You've been getting better on your writing, that I've noticed  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
11 posted 2001-04-26 06:10 PM


Aw.....love's so cool. Grrreat job, loved this one.  
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » You and I

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary