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Teen Poetry #4
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Jess714
Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 10


0 posted 2001-04-19 08:33 PM


Why won't you just stop?
Leave us alone
We are happy and you can't stop that
Stop trying to break us up
It isn't far how much you stress us out

Leave, Leave, Leave.....
Just leave us alone
We want to be together
And you won't stop us

© Copyright 2001 Jess714 - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-19 08:52 PM


you seem to discribe the situation of what you are trying to write in ur poems. i think if you put more emotion in it.think it'll make the poem powerful to the person who reads it...anyways..i think u did a nice job.keep writing

...?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-19-2001).]

Rach813
Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 30
Maine
2 posted 2001-04-19 10:50 PM


Jess I think I know who this poem is about but I ain't sure! If it is who I think it is then its a good poem about that witch! LOL you know girl that she won't stop what we are going to be doing! I love you can't wait for you to be here!
Love Always
Rachel

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2001-04-19 11:19 PM


oh god..i know exactly how you feel!! god it stabbs right through to the heart...i hope you guys make it well in the end..
good poem

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
4 posted 2001-04-19 11:39 PM


good poem it said the difficulty of the situation i liked it i cant wait to read more later be strong keep cool and belive in the unreal i am out

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-20 02:25 AM


Hey, I'm sorry ok?!?! Geeesh!


Hehe no....nice poem. Hard situation. Good luck!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-20 01:13 PM


This situation doesn't seem like an easy one, that's for sure.  I'm sorry that things are hard right now... I hope they get better.
As for the poem, very nicely done.  I think you could expand on it a little more and put more emotion into it, that might make it a little better   Other than that, nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-04-20 04:01 PM


This poem has made me so curious
What's going on?  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-04-20 08:07 PM


Ooh... powerful message! And scary icon.  It looks like IsGona with too much coffee in him.     hehe
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Celebi
Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 17

9 posted 2001-04-20 10:31 PM


You go sis. I hope we do beat that witch. And one more thing...Id just like to say soon...Welcome Home
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