Pride in false idols. - pipTalk Forums

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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-04-19 04:49 PM

Pride in false idols.

We all got a little bit proud,
Lost ourselves amongst the crowd,

Hailed ourselves as a new age god,
Conquered people in the land of nod,

Couldn’t bare to show our roots,
Snobbery destroyed our few fruits,

Maybe we were a little slow,
Weathermen predicting snow,

Critics were our final destruction,
All we needed was some construction.

Poetic pains that we didn’t feel,
Because we forgot that we were real

<<<_ Andrew _>>>

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-19 05:04 PM

nice job!
i liked how u wrote this...
keep writing

...?

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-04-19 05:28 PM

Ooh..... good job on this Zu! Very good job, couplets are nice in this type of poem!

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-19 06:19 PM

Very well done. I enjoyed this poem greatly Keep postin and i'll keep reading!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-19 06:58 PM

I really liked the way you used the couplets here. Very nice job! I enjoyed this. Nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Heart=Life
Junior Member

since 2001-02-03

Posts 29
United Kingdom

5 posted 2001-04-20 09:47 AM

I also feel you did a great job on the couplets, very good work

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

6 posted 2001-04-20 12:43 PM

YAY!! fun with couplets. couplets are fun. this poem is fun. i like fun. right.... anyway, great job on this, i liked the format a lot. keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-04-20 01:40 PM

very interesting thoughts. nicely done my friend.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

8 posted 2001-04-20 01:44 PM

very god job man i enjoyed reading it i heard the message i cant wait to read more of your stuff bye bye for now

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

9 posted 2001-04-20 02:21 PM

Thanks Guys for all the replies... I guess you all love those couplets.
<<<_Andrew_>>>

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

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