You broke your promise. - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

0 posted 2001-04-17 05:25 PM

I took your word.
You promised.
You said "I love you".
Those three little words meant the world to me.
Now they mean nothing!
You broke your promise.
You broke my heart.
Now your gone,
And I can't bring you back.
You went away.
You left my heart behind.
I'll miss you.

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

1 posted 2001-04-17 06:34 PM

"I'll miss you" This line puts the cherry on the cake! Even though the heart had been broken and the promise had been broken they still loved, you show the true power of love because it takes a long time for it to heal and you have encapsulated this thought within the last line! Excellent

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

2 posted 2001-04-17 07:00 PM

Thank you kim. I try!

sabriel

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

3 posted 2001-04-17 07:15 PM

I agree with kim about the ending. love is hard when its lost or thought to be. Im sorry.
Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-04-17 07:59 PM

I really, really like this poem, and i'm with everyone else when it comes to the ending. great writing, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-17 10:16 PM

I thought of this a while back while writing a project of mine called "Junior Rhetorical Questions" and One of the questions was "Do promises form due to a lack of trust?"
Think about that one.

I liked the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-04-17 11:07 PM

I really enjoyed this. Very beautiful thoughts! Keep posting... I can't wait to read more.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2001-04-17 11:57 PM

Im so sorry that your heart was broken. This was a very beautiful poem...time will heal your pain...feel better ::hugs::

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.