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Teen Poetry #4
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anonymous albert ?
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0 posted 2001-04-17 02:37 AM




there are times for reasons of my own
where my heart and mind both agree
that my soul has not yet been free
as i can not deny wat i sincerely feel
a heart that is so real
which is unable to heal
but nobody seems to be calling
as i’m left to be down in my drowning
cause i can’t help myselfs mind from this falling
where my heart and mind will never disagree
on that times might come for me to some smiles now
but knowing those smiles are just then, as i’ll be crying later

mar.10

© Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved
Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
1 posted 2001-04-17 12:45 PM


Hey,

        Nice rhyme and great poem! Until your next

        -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Child of the Stars
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2 posted 2001-04-17 04:42 PM


Hmph. I was all happy and stuff. Look what you've done! You've dragged me out of dreamland and made me think about STUFF again!! Sheesh!! Hehe, for reals....I really liked this...
  ~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Dark Enchantress
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since 1999-07-27
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meet Morgana
3 posted 2001-04-17 07:35 PM


I really enjoyed this, Albert. You found the words to express this subject of feeling very, very well.

"...if you want love you must be love.."
Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins

Fading Away
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4 posted 2001-04-17 10:11 PM


I think the lines here can be broken down with more line breaks and maybe even broken up into stanzas.
Other than that, I think you did a nice job on this poem.  I enjoyed the read.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-17 11:28 PM


I didn't like this one much. You have done a lot better. Hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Deranger
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since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
6 posted 2001-04-17 11:32 PM


Great words.  Form is important to poetry. For me, it advertises the explosiviness of the author's mood...or whatever...

nice work.

anonymous albert ?
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7 posted 2001-04-18 02:05 AM


thanks for all ur wonderful comments...
much love 2 u guys all ...........

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