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Teen Poetry #4
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Cash or Credit?
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Cash or Credit? |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
Cash or Credit? Time for me to paste on another grin, Hope we can start over again. I walk into the room, And suddenly I am overcome by an undeniable sense of gloom. See, I pretend that we, You and me, Are alright. But we’re not are we my dear? We’re everything I have ever feared. Physical yes, You’re always willing to help me undress. Remember when you used to put me in my jammies? When it was a rainy day, And alls we wanted to do was lay . . . Beside each other? Remember helping me with my nightstand, Helping me put it together at 2 am? Remember how you wanted it to be perfect, Sturdy and strong? Remember how it just wasn’t? Maybe that’s how we are, We’re not making it very far. Maybe we’re like the clearance nightstand at Meijers, Unsteady, and a tiny bit to wobbly. Maybe it’s time to take our relationship back to the courtesy desk, Cash or credit they might ask. Do we want cash? If we had cash, We could walk away. Shop at some other store, Time to start a different relationship with someone else, It’s another day. Maybe it’s time to take our relationship back to the courtesy desk, Cash or credit they might ask. Do we want credit? If we had credit, Maybe we could pick something out that’s a bit more sturdy. Something that might last, If we worked on it enough. Bought the right tools, Attached some braces, And didn’t put all our weight on it. So now we’re going back to Meijers, The courtesy desk has a long line. We stand here with a receipt, Our return information filled out. So now we’re at the front and the clerk asks, Cash or credit? What’ll it be my dear, See I could go either way. With cash, I could by some new shoes. I’d be happy with new shoes, But I don’t need them. With credit, maybe we could find something stronger, Work a little bit longer, But I’m not really sure I like their selection. Cash or credit baby? Your choice, I could go either way. "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be the greatest fan of your life." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Crystal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
oh man, thats a great piece. i have to say it's one of my favorites sence coming here. loved the cash or credit metaphore. also the lines "With cash, I could by some new shoes. I’d be happy with new shoes, But I don’t need them." were really good. keep it up. everything is skin deep |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was soooooooo long, but it was awesome! I absolutely loved it. Your analogy for a relationship and the two paths you could take is great!!!! VERY VERY good job on this one!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Very deep and very good! I liked this one it was a good read! I like the way you have sectioned it into 2 parts this makes it very philosophical and excellent! Interesting, intriguing and inspiring! ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
Thank you guys for your replies. I'm going to give my boyfriend this poem tonight so keep your fingers crossed!! Crystal "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be the greatest fan of your life." |
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