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Teen Poetry #4
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princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-15 09:45 PM


When you love some one so dearly,
you dont ever want that love to end.

But when someone else you love comes along,
you suddenly want it to end.

Your heart is breaking deep inside,
you wish you werent alive.

Your heart is crying,
everyday.

For someone to understand.

No-one understand what goes on,
in your little heart.

But all you need is one of your lovers,
to slowly drift away.


no comment on what this is about...

© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-15 10:04 PM


Hmm... this one is not your usual style.  You seem to be exploring other areas of poetry, and that is very good.  
Personally I didn't really care for this poem a lot technically, but I did like the message and emotion in it.  Very good job.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-04-15 10:06 PM


Well I can relate to the no-one-understanding thing...this was a good poem, thanks for sharing it.  
  ~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Attack Ferrit
Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41
texas
3 posted 2001-04-15 10:17 PM


great post. i can relate to what your talking about, so i hope it works out.

everything is skin deep

aim: theattackferrit
email: whenferritsattack@hotmail.com

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
4 posted 2001-04-15 10:19 PM


im sticking with allan on this one..its cool that your trying new ways of poetry..and the idea is good (its what comes from the heart that counts) but i do think ive seen better from you...but still..good job!

       *ME*

ouch..didnt mean to be harsh!!!

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
5 posted 2001-04-15 10:19 PM


im sticking with allan on this one..its cool that your trying new ways of poetry..and the idea is good (its what comes from the heart that counts) but i do think ive seen better from you...but still..good job!

       *ME*

ouch..didnt mean to be harsh!!!

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-16 12:05 PM


I didn't like the structure of this poem.  But the expression behind it was beautiful.  However, I didn't really care for the message either.  I don't believe that you can be in love with two people at once, and if you think you are, then you weren't really in love with one of them in the first place.  Does that make any sense?  I just don't think that it's so easy to end one relationship in which you were in love so quickly for someone else.
Hmm. sorry for rambling.
Nice job.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-16 04:03 PM


I thought that the topic of this poem kind of related to something i am going through.
I liked the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-04-16 04:26 PM


hmmm....this poem just made me think sarah it was al;so written in a form of pain..as for what u r going thru as if this is the present or past hope things worked out for u had to make a difficult chocie but was happy with it or if its a present thing hope u feel better bout stuff. i reaaly hope things get better for urself and ur life....
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