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Teen Poetry #4
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lonely*soul
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since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

0 posted 2001-04-15 05:34 PM


hey guys this is only my 2nd poem posted here..but this is how im feeling, and im not always like this, but i have my moments  (so for allans reply below...i write happy poems too!!)  lol  enjoy

Mascara running down my cheeks
And tears collecting on the tissue
Thoughts flowing through my head
About my every flaw and issue

I run my finger across my face
And wipe away my tears
This is my escape from my pain
My escape from my fears  

Nothing anyone says or does
Can ever change the facts
That all the tears that I shed
Cover all of what I lack

I lack the worthiness of my friends
I lack all attractiveness
I lack the thing that I most want
I lack the inner bliss

Everyone takes for granted
How I help them all
The worthlessness feeling I undergo
Is just another long fall

I’m never good enough for anyone
And I don’t believe I will ever be
All I have to offer them
Isn’t that good at all
All it is, is me

  


[This message has been edited by lonely*soul (edited 04-15-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 kimberly - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-15 06:16 PM


Oh, cheer up.  This kind of poetry doesn't exactly appeal to me to be quite honest, I don't think it's productive for you either.  You should count your talents and merits, not all the things you don't like about yourself.  Just try that sometime.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-04-15 07:33 PM


Smile, you become 4832742649327 times better.
  ~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
3 posted 2001-04-15 11:44 PM


i really like this poem, i felt that the last line was meant as a question for all you peers and family, great poem.
katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
4 posted 2001-04-16 02:40 AM


this is so sad. i know how feeling that way is. just remember your awesome don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise!
feel better real soon!
~kate

'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.'

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
5 posted 2001-04-16 11:50 AM


hey guys thanx for all your replys!!!  ill  be putting some more up pretty soon  

                                 
                          ~*KiM*~
                                 

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-16 11:55 AM


This is a good poem, but I like what Allan said.  Take that advice.  I hope you don't always feel this way.  I understand that people have their days.. that's a given.  But just remember that everyone you were referring to in this poem care about you a great deal.  *hugs* Keep smiling.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-16 03:52 PM


Really Carly? That much better?  
LIAR!

Anyhow....I enjoyed this poem a lot. You wrote it very well, and although it's written in the sense that you had a low self esteem it was still a good poem. I enjoyed it, but do get better.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Marshalzu
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Lurking
8 posted 2001-04-16 03:58 PM


Carly I can't believe it makes you that much better... I certainly didn't feel and better...

Great poem I thought... I'm glad you write happy poetry as well and i'll be keeping an eye open for more of your work... Til then.
<<_Andrew_>>

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-04-16 04:31 PM


"ignores every1 elses replys"
except....but carly do u really think?
yea ... i liked it though it was nicely written. good job

LoveBug
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10 posted 2001-04-16 05:13 PM


I can relate to this really well. I know exactly what its like to feel like you can never measure up, and it isn't plesant. You describe it well. I just hope you begin to feel comfortable with yourself. You should be comfortable with yourself as a writer at least, because this is really good. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
11 posted 2001-04-17 10:06 AM


I like this a lot, i thought the emotions throughout were really beautiful.  i've felt exactly the same way on more than one occasion and i know that writing always helps me deal.  i look forward to reading lots more of your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Heavens Tears
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Posts 677

12 posted 2001-04-17 10:24 AM


Giving you is plenty.  Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.  

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
13 posted 2001-04-17 12:03 PM


Even though it was sad it was still a good  poem. But such a good poem shouldn't be labled as "untitled".

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."  
~Anonymous

Linc
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
14 posted 2001-04-17 12:07 PM


Hey,

        This is a great poem, its sad but still great hope to see more posts from you (hint hint) until your next poem (soon I hope)

          -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Acies
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Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
15 posted 2001-04-19 07:31 PM


Why do you even look at yourself that low?  Well I guess in some certain situations, we question our self worth.  Well my friend, maybe you should be around people who appreciate you and not those people that are probably just "using" you.  The poem is really good.  I enjoyed it a lot  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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