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Teen Poetry #4
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princess^sarah
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since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-15 04:03 AM


Too Many dreams I cannot follow
Too many dreams my heart can't swallow
Too many days my dreams bring me tears
Too many days my dreams are my fears
We dream our dreams to set our goals
To wish us luck, to fill the holes
But now my dreams seem so wrong So far away, so very long
I dreamed to be who I could be
I dreamed there was a perfect me
But reality has killed my dream
My hope flows down an endless stream
All my life I've dreamed a dream, that I could be who others seem
Now life has turned my dream to shame
It's taught me I'm wrong and all to blame
My tears run dry, my hopes sink low
Sweet dreams are over, no place to go
This endless dream my world has built,
Has torn my life to morn and filth
Why do I dream too many dreams, my voice is silent, inside I scream
Into the dark, I sacrafice, too many dreams, I end this fight.


© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-15 04:13 AM


it was nicely written.i liked this one sarah .keep writing

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-15-2001).]

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-15 08:31 AM


This is a very well written poem, Sarah.  It's filled with pain and emotion.  
I just hope you understand that dreams aren't meant to harm anyone.  They're supposed to be something to look forward to, to strive for.  
It seems like you're going through trying times.  I'm sorry that things are hard for you, and I hope things get better soon.  Just know that you have everyone here at Passions who care about you.
Nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-04-15 11:55 AM


Marie's a wise girl, Sarah.  Dreams are something personal that shouldn't be a bad thing, you should embrace them.     
However, I do think this poem was very well written, as everyone says.  Great job.  I liked the variation in line size.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
4 posted 2001-04-15 01:56 PM


"Too many dreams are my fears"
That line really got me. That's normally because our heart is going against what our mind is saying. (P.S. -> listen to your heart)

Maybe rather than just giving up on your dreams, just revise them. Make them realistic and take steps. You can't be perfect (nobody is), but you can be perfect enough for you. After all, it's only your own opinion that truly matters.      

Anyway, you wrote a very good poem.


I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too.    

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 04-15-2001).]

Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2001-04-15 05:02 PM


Ahh...dreams are sposed to be pretty...not icky.   Hope things get peachy soon....
  ~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
6 posted 2001-04-15 08:21 PM


opposed to what everyone else is saying, i liked it and its true..but thats what night mares are for silly!!!!  anyways, i liked the rhyme sceme..good job on this one!

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-16 03:36 PM


Great job on this one sarah!

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