The fight against anonymity.

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Teen Poetry #4

The fight against anonymity.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-04-14 01:13 PM

The fight against anonymity. ( Origianally called the United states of Europe.)

Cannot lose our identity,
We need to stand off strong,
We don’t their anonymity,
But we cannot stand for long,

The United states of Europe,
Centuries of history lost,
The defiant British hope,
That they do not bear the cost,

Dogged determination,
Our defences are well prepared,
European instigation,
Another war has flared,

Fight them on the beaches,
Fight them in the skies,
And as history teaches,
They’ll be destroyed before our eyes,

Every man and woman,
Called up, taken higher,
Every man and woman,
In defence of our great empire.

Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

1 posted 2001-04-14 02:30 PM

wonderful

-=We often get hurt when we trust someone we want them to be instead of who they really are=-

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2001-04-14 02:57 PM

amazing...enough said.

Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-04-14 07:39 PM

The last stanza has a flow that the others are lacking. Try to arrange this so that the others have a similar meter and syllable scheme to the last stanza... it'd read a lot easier.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2001-04-14 08:50 PM

Yep, I felt that little jolt of non-rhythm too. Very good ideas in this one, I enjoyed. Smile!

~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-15 01:24 AM

I thought this was very original work. I enjoyed this greatly.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-04-15 09:04 AM

Amazing work. I enjoyed the read

--Marie

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