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Teen Poetry #4
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Mysteria-Foxx
Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 11


0 posted 2001-04-13 07:02 PM


I opened the door
to a cold room,
or maybe it was only cold
'cause my clothes were wet
There was a bit of moonlight
coming into the dingy room
emphasizing the ugly carpet
and beaten up furniture
I sat down on the bed
next to Sheryl and watched
as she cried
for both her humiliation
and her defeat
She looked at me
with her deep blue eyes,
full of sorrow
And I hugged her
I knew that was all
that she wanted from me
I ran my hands
through her tangled hair
Blond hair and blue eyes
with big boobs
and a beautiful smile,
I used to envy her
He didn't hesitate
to smudge her lipstick,
to pull her hair,
to throw her on the bed,
to blame his rage
on his "passion" for her
I was going to murder him
I always felt like the one
who always had to fight
but I knew she wanted me
to stay with her
She called me there
asking me to come to the hotel
and stay with her
and now all she would say
as I held her close,
"He said he loved me"


Fox

Back in 97 we burned our own souls in the midst of poverty. Never learned how to keep anything clean.

© Copyright 2001 Fox - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2001-04-13 08:33 PM


ooohh, sounds painful......well, nice poem anyway.

*S* staci

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-04-14 01:06 AM


I don't know why your friend would even mention that after the situation she had been thru.  That really bothers me.  I hope you realize that whatever physical action towards the offending party should not even be an option at all.  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-14 03:09 AM


Wow this was so powerful. I enjoyed this completely. Very raw and full of emotion. Great poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-14 10:42 AM


This is a very emotion filled poem... I liked it a lot.  It's powerful.  Thanks for sharing..
Nicely done

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-04-14 11:06 AM


Wow. Very detailed, I could almost picture that. That's a terrible situation to be in.
I really thought this was good though.

Jenn

"I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2001-04-14 11:20 AM


  Picture it?? I could actually touch the pain. Very good poem, very depressing subject. Keep writin.
  ~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-04-14 11:35 AM


o man. "He said he loved me", the biggest and most used lie. guys use. RIght now all i feel is anger towards this boy. strangling is more honest. but hey thats just me, little young regina, who knows alot on this.

Btw this was an amazing poem

Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-04-14 07:23 PM


Not only guys, Regina.  You should know that.
Mysteria, I really enjoyed this piece... there was a lot of powerful emotion entwined.  The pain is very real as well... it drew me right in.  
I also liked your adjective usage in here...
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

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