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Teen Poetry #4
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chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma

0 posted 2001-04-12 09:06 PM


I was never any good at writing love poems, i'm willing to take lessons!

" FOOL"
I wrote a letter up to heaven,
asking god what can I do,
On how I can improve upon this girl,
on how I can improve on you,
For seven days I heard no news,
for seven nights I stayed awake,
And on the eighth and final day,
what he told me came to late,
What he told me I have known,
what he said I never knew,
To think of such a foolish thought,
I was thinking like a fool.

"?"
My Blood is slowly flowing, my vision is now faded,
I live the world without knowing, If  I could ever make it,
I guess I’ll leave the world, the way I was created,
But when I close my eyes, I see your hand holding,
On to mine to try, to save my heart from dying,
Images of you, would block my soul from hiding,
Oh no it started, my eyes are now crying,
If only you were here, by my side at all times,
Then maybe I can find, some hope in this hopeless heart of mine.


"IF I"
If I were to wonder, wonder about any thing at all,
I would wonder what would have happened, if we haven't met this fall,
If I were to ask you, ask you any thing I please,
I would ask you to forgive me, cus I'm not everything you need,
If I have any secrets, any secrets yet untold,
It would be that with out you, my life is not yet whole,
If I were to be any thing, any thing at all,
I'll be the ground you stand on, I’ll catch you if you fall,
If I was to know, to know everything about you,
I’ll try to for fill your greatest fantasy, I’ll do my best to make it come true,
If I were to be, just to be your man,
I would never let you go, forever will I hold your hand.
If I could only, if I could only tell you,
Then maybe you will think about me, and try to make my dreams come true.  

© Copyright 2001 chas - All Rights Reserved
chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
1 posted 2001-04-12 09:08 PM


i'm not good at expressing myself, i said i could use some lessons, maybe  JBaker can help...if you want , you can Instent messege me, my screen name is" insainsilo"  ,
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
2 posted 2001-04-12 09:36 PM


Hey,

      I though they were good   keep it up

  -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2001-04-12 11:00 PM


I think I like the last one the best.  I'm not great at love poems, so I'll let the pro's help you out.  Nice job on these.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.  
Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum?

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-12 11:57 PM


I'm no good at love poems myself, but i felt you did an outstanding job. very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

JBaker515
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Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
5 posted 2001-04-13 12:33 PM


Chan, they were good..i will IM you and talk  to you more about them..
Jeff

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-13 10:33 AM


These were very well written love poems, chas.  I understand that these were different from what you are used to writing, and I felt that you did a fantastic job.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
7 posted 2001-04-15 10:35 PM


hehe willing to take sum luv poem advice from baker..good chioce man!!!  lol, but those were cute

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
8 posted 2001-04-16 01:47 AM


they were very sweet..and like everbody has said...they're very well written...keep it up!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
9 posted 2001-04-16 02:54 AM


they were good!

~kate

'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.'

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
10 posted 2001-04-16 10:39 AM


These were nice. I liked the last one especially. Keep it up
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
11 posted 2001-04-16 10:44 AM


These were really good, I especially enjoyed the first one " Fool". I could really empathise with them.
Andrew

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

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