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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-04-12 08:01 PM

Sprinkled Stardust

Sprinkled stardust across my shattered heart,
Your love slowly heals.
Sprinkled stardust floats in the air,
Around us all, for broken hearts it feels.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-04-12 11:51 PM

Nicely done here. Short and wonderful. Not your best though. Hope to see some more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-13 10:53 AM

This is a very well written poem.. I think you could expand on the idea a little more, but nice job just the same

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-04-13 11:02 AM

You like short poetry, don't you... try Haiku/Senryu or Tanka sometime, they are just a bit restrictive but very rewarding.

~Allan

Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault!

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-04-13 12:04 PM

i think that you should try out allan's idea and maybe experiment with some different formats. try and expand a little in a few new directions. this was good though, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

5 posted 2001-04-13 02:10 PM

Hey,

This is a great poem, short but still good

keep it up

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

6 posted 2001-04-13 02:55 PM

Short and sweet. Great poem, no matter what the length. Keep posting

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-04-13 06:03 PM

The amazing thing about short poems is it never lacks the meaning of a long one. You did excellent. thanks for the beautiful read

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-04-14 12:48 PM

short but beautifully described.. nice job

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