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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-12 07:34 PM

Three shots ring out,
Three lives lost,
One man, one bout,
And three are dead.

Three shots ring out,
Three dreams gone,
One man, one bout,
And three are dead.

Three shots ring out,
Three minds dead,
One man, one bout,
And three are dead.

Three shots ring out,
Three loves hurt,
One man, one bout,
And three are dead.

Three shots ring out,
One vengeful,
One man, one bout,
And one is torn.

Three shots ring out,
One hurtful,
One man, one bout,
And one does fall.

Three shots ring out,
One fatal,
One man, one bout,
And that man is dead.

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2001-04-12 07:39 PM

this was amazing in my opinion. i loved it . keep it up.

*s* staci

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-04-12 07:52 PM

I really thought this was genius. Very well done here.....I enjoyed this

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Attack Ferrit
Junior Member

since 2001-04-09

Posts 41
texas

3 posted 2001-04-12 08:15 PM

wow that was great man. amazing.

everything is skin deep

aim: theattackferrit
email: whenferritsattack@hotmail.com

Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

4 posted 2001-04-12 10:02 PM

Hey!! i really loved it!!! i thought it was amazing. can't wait for more of your poetry.

lots of love, dana

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-04-13 10:45 AM

Great job! This was really creative.

~Allan

Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-04-13 10:47 AM

This is a very unique poem. The style is great, and the repitition really adds to it. The use of italics fits well...
Very nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

helen smith
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 240

7 posted 2001-04-13 05:03 PM

enjoyed it kosetsu pictured the mess of the eternal love triangle yokudekima****a

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-04-13 06:18 PM

very intersting poem
very interesting style
I do believe though that you can do better than this
I know I've read better from you
Thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

9 posted 2001-04-13 06:31 PM

Hey,

Superb! This is a wonderful poem I also loved your use of italics. This is going into my library. Thanks for the great read. Until your next masterpiece

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

10 posted 2001-04-26 11:36 AM

this was great the repetion was perfect for the poem and it added tons to it thank you agian for a great read you have a amazing if not slightly violent talent lol keep it up

ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

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