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Teen Poetry #4
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my decision?
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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my decision? |
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
Oh my decision, I envision making you today, Which path should I take, which is the safest way? Who should be beside me, and who will be left behind? Who will remain in my heart, who will disappear from my mind? Whatever choices I make, I’ll always end up loosing, For the fate of my soul depends on me choosing, To live without my life or to live without me world, To be with another and have the other lost like a stolen pearl, What should I do, I’m too confuse, My mind is hurting, my heart’s abused, My emotion mixed, my conscience fixed, on trying to help out one of them. |
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| © Copyright 2001 chas - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
this was written for me to think about what i should do, i had a girlfriend but someone else needed my heart more then she did, I'm still lost. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Quite the pickle... well I did enjoy the poem. But I'm no advice service, sorry man can't help you with anything more than poetry.  ~Allan Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
You had a Gf but somebody needed yer heart more? Ask yourself this....what did your heart need? Isn't having a GF some sort of comittment? I mean....did things change in the last month that I was not aware of? Doesn't being bf/gf mean something, like...erm.....that your heart is devoted to that person? Well anyway the poem was fine....nicely done....started out fine but within the ending the flow was extended more due to more syllables....kinda messed up the flow a bit....but it was done fine...erm....but yea....think about what I said.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The flow at the begining of this was good and then it seemed to break off a little at the end. I think i'd have to understand the situation better before i gave you any advice but i do agree with everything that Dopey said. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
yeah, i guess you guys are right, the flow is messed up, humm, maybe i'll revise it..thanks , take care and peace out. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Well since I have no advice to give all I will say is great poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Making decisions is hard and i never trust myself in making the right ones. Good poem and it really expressed how you are feeling. |
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