»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Shortcoming to Perfection
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Shortcoming to Perfection |
|
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677
|
Shes fighting a loosing battle No way for her to win Looking for stability Seeking perfection That she'll never find Hidng behind a mask Pretending to be like everyone else Hiding so many things That make her so distinct So that she fails to appear And different from the rest Her biggest adversary Is her own reflection So she hides from it But when that person in the mirror Catches her eye It holds her attention And points out every flaw Every shortcoming to visible perfection Her chubby belly Her dimpled chin Her splotchy face Her pudgy cheeks Then time stands still As that reflection continues Pointing out flaws Until tears are streaming down her cheeks And then the trance is broken Then she strives to become What that other person wants her to be No matter what it takes Its her curse Her fate She hides from the world And lets no one near to her heart There is nothing that could show The effects of this other persons control over her So she remains the not so typical girl Who cries in the corner All alone Until she takes control Or the person in the mirror does... [This message has been edited by Wishing4U (edited 04-11-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Heavens Tears - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This was creepy, you really did express a great feeling of confusion and helplessness... and lack of self-control. Quite excellent. Oh, and there are those of us who think pudgy faces are cute.  Don't change yourself for anyone but yourself.~Allan |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
You threaded your emotions through your words perfectly and really did an excellent job expressing how you feel. this was really an excellent piece, it goes into the library  Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"but not too harsh!!" Me? Harsh? Never!  Not that you need to worry, my dear, your poem was wonderful. You expressed yourself very clearly and honestly about a difficult issue in everyone's life. I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. :) |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Striving for perfection is something that can really break you... This is a wonderful poem. Your expression was wonderful. Nice job. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ouch. This hits. How comes so many recent poems haveta make me think? Sheesh. Heh I love thinking. Nice work....learn to laugh at the chick in the mirror, it helps me...or stand there and make faces.  Like that. It's great for your..erm...self esteem? Wow I'm saying a lot. ANYWAYS! Peace.~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this a lot. I Hope things get better for you.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Why must you try to be someone you aren't. Be yourself and have others love you for it. Hoping things do get better for ya "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
