»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Raped by the fingers of a yellow digger.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Raped by the fingers of a yellow digger. |
|
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
|
Raped by the fingers of a yellow digger. Mankind has gone and raped her, The victim mother earth, His giant claws have scraped her, And stolen all her worth, His sexual frustration, Has scarred her and took her beauty, This sudden degradation, Meant she has neglected all her duty, A parasitic organism, It destroys it’s environment, Where is environmentalism? It’s covered in deep cement, An Iron, concrete vision, Trees are just their to decorate, Pictures on the television, We’d rather imitate, The death of humanity, Lies with the mother earth, Let us set her free, So she can give us a second birth. I wasn't sure as to whether I should tone the title down a little, I know it's kinda in your face but that what I like really. It's not sexually explict anyway... err... anyway if it's not acceptable I don't think i'd change it. Andrew " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
No, my spidey sense isn't tingling on this one, Marshal. The title is fine. In fact, the whole theme to the poem, the metaphor that runs so deep, is quite impressive. Well done.  ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*Claps* Beautifully done! I like this a lot, Andrew! You did a very nice job. The metaphor used is fantastic... Thanks for the great read! --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-10-2001).] |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow. this was so good. more than that. the whole poem.. blew me away. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
||
|
Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
i like the in your faceness (im sure thats a word somewhere) of it, it gives a sence of urgency to it. i really liked the lines "Trees are just their to decorate, Pictures on the television" really great post |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Yepyep, very nice here. Very nice indeed... ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
||
|
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Great job. Its not explicit, rather an interesting comparison. I really like your poetry. Keep writing *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Beautifully done! this is one of my favorites by you, really and excellent use of metaphor and imagery. keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks for all the replies... I'm really glad that everyone liked it and no one has been offended, although I guess you would have to read it totally the wrong way to get the wrong picture... Andrew. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I AM OFFENDED  no, not really. I liked this really! Very creative man! One of your best!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
