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Teen Poetry #4
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shadydaze
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since 2000-10-02
Posts 85


0 posted 2001-04-10 03:51 PM



Your smile is not shining.
You're eyes do not glimmer.
Your voice is not sweet
when the truth does not shimmer

in the darkness you bring
when your face does not glow.
Because of your secrets,
your love is a show.

© Copyright 2001 shadydaze - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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1 posted 2001-04-10 04:11 PM


  Very nice job here...I liked it furry muchos
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

LoveBug
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2 posted 2001-04-10 04:43 PM


"Your smile is not shining.
You're eyes do not glimmer.
Your voice is not sweet
when the truth does not shimmer"

A relationship without truth can't last. I'm glad you realize this, and I just hope this person realizes this soon. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

LoveBug
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3 posted 2001-04-10 04:43 PM


Oops... I feel dumb  

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 04-10-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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4 posted 2001-04-10 06:19 PM


Very simple, very short.  I think it was a fine poem.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Fading Away
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5 posted 2001-04-10 08:24 PM


I think this is a good poem.  Very short and sweet  
Thanks for sharing and nice job.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-04-11 09:54 AM


some of the best poems are those that express their ideas in the fewest words possible.  i thought you did an excellent job on this piece, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-11 06:40 PM


Very well written. I enjoyed this poem. To the point, short, but with a lot of feeling and I appreciate that.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Pixie-Babe03
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since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
8 posted 2001-04-11 07:13 PM


I liked this a lot! short and sweet!
-=Justine=-

Acies
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Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-04-16 06:52 PM


nice way to express yourself. short and direct to the point.  thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-04-16 11:05 PM


OoOoOoOoOoO very nice!! Short and sweet...purrrrfect
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