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Teen Poetry #4
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Heavens Tears
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0 posted 2001-04-10 09:26 AM


It destroys the world I live in
It disenigrates all stability in my life
It demolishes all traces of happiness
Like waves pounding onto the rocky shores
For once I can say that I didnt cause it
Its like a force of nature in my life
And I am always stuck in the middle
Even though I try so hard to escape
But I am trapped by it all
Like a giant spider web clinging to me
And the only way to escape
Is to break the carefully crafted web
But the web of my life
Would only tangle more
Making my existance
Even more complicated
And making my life even harder to bear
Ao should I let it all go?
Or should I do something to change things
While I know in my heart it will only backfire



*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

[This message has been edited by Heavens Tears (edited 04-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Heavens Tears - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
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Lurking
1 posted 2001-04-10 09:38 AM


Welcome to Passions. This was a great first post and I really enjoyed it.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

banburycross
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since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-04-10 10:27 AM


Welcome to passions!!  this is a great first post, and i really like your name.  i look forward to reading lots more from you in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

LoveBug
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3 posted 2001-04-10 11:14 AM


Welcome to Passions! This is a beautiful first piece, and you portray your emotions well. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Thanks for sharing.



PS-cbeck your e-mail

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 04-10-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-10 11:19 AM


I really liked this. Very well done!!!!
Welcome to Passions!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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5 posted 2001-04-10 11:24 AM


I think you should take the time to edit a few typoes...
My critique would have to be that you used "complicating" in what appeared to be the wrong context, maybe change it to "complicated."  
Other than that, I really enjoyed this poem.  You seem to have a lot of potential, I look forward to reading and sharing poetry with you.  
Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Ina
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2001-04-10 12:17 PM


this was great work. welcome to passions.
Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Child of the Stars
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7 posted 2001-04-10 02:52 PM


   Welcome welcome welcome!! This was a good first post, keep writing and sharing! Seee ya!
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Fading Away
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8 posted 2001-04-10 03:19 PM


Welcome to Passions!  
Very nice first post.  I enjoyed the read.. Thanks for sharing, and I hope to see more soon.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Acies
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Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-04-11 11:28 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

A beautiful first piece.  What a way to start you sharing here in Passions.  I'm glad you decided to join our family, and I do hope you enjoy

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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