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Teen Poetry #4
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A Late Decay
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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A Late Decay |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: I haven't posted in a while. I'm almost done with the 6th round. I finished the Round in November of '00. Just a few more poems/songs left and then we'll be onto the 7th track which already had 80+ works and I'm still working on it. Anyhow...this poem really sucks...sorry guys. A Late Decay: You've never been this way. Holding onto the nothingness, Savoring the pain. It's the maybe of the whatever sickness. Plastic arms wipe your tears. Just try to make it through. Do what a doer doesn't While loving his blank walls. You seem pale today. Eyes red with insomnia. I hope you make it through. Soon enough you'll be through.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
you might think it sucked but i liked it. the lines "It's the maybe of the whatever sickness." and "Do what a doer doesn't" was really good. i liked the the wordplay. anyway i thought it was really good. look forward to reading more. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I swear if you don't quit it with the negativity I'll be forced to bite you. And don't think I won't.  I must have missed a lot because that whole note thing just went over my head. What have you been up to? Whatever it is it sounds good. Loved the poem. I mean really. I love your style. This one had a few good lines in it. It also showed concern and thoughtfulness of someone else without being all sentimental and "mushy". That's a good thing by the way. Not everybody can do that well. I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. :) |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Dopey, you are a nut, this did not suck, i liked it a lot, and any more negativity from you, i will also bit you.. HEHE Jeff |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I see why you didn't like it, it seemed a bit laboured. You tried just a bit too hard on this one I think... And ohhhh, so that's what you meant by the sixth round.  The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
I really don't think this "sucks ". Some great observations here, Javier. "I hate quotes, they suck!" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Thanks everybody on your comments....they mean a lot. Allan- Actually this only took about 2 minutes to write. I remember writing this so long ago in my little note book and it just came out so quick that I didn't have any real thought over what I was writing. I had the general concept and I flowed. NOTE: This whole poem is me writing in character of somebody talking to ME. I'm trying to tell myself that, well...I'm screwed and soon enough I'll be through. Not in death, but more like an internal decay that was inevitably going to happen, and it did I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
no as those who have talent a poem that sucks never exist so never think like that.  cause i liked it...so keep writing |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
You might think its great but i do. The poem was very intersting. reminded me of stuff. hope u dont mind that im gonna put it in my library. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I have to echo everyone else here and say that this poem does not suck in any way, shape, or form. it has some really neat images in it and the wording of it was truly awesome. thanks for the read, keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
How can you possible think that this poem sucked in any way? This is a very well written poem. After I read your note on the reply, I went back and read the poem again, and that really helped. It's a very creative poem in that way, and I enjoyed reading it very much. It's nice to see you posting again. Very nicely done --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Dopey, i believe you did good on this poem. Honestly though, it isn't anywhere close to your best. Hope you don't take that the wrong way. Thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey javvie  i liked this poem..you know i like most of what youve written but javvie.. you're not a FAKE!!!! so stop thinking like that!... i loved the "maybe of the whatever sickness" bit....that was good.. ill miss you..and you know im not supposed to be on.. "Life is not long and boring, |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
I think that it was very meaningful. Good job, keep writing! ~ab~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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