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Teen Poetry #4
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Attack Ferrit
Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41
texas

0 posted 2001-04-09 09:45 PM


invisible monsters

when gravity pulls you from your high
when everyone you see passes you by
when you look into the mirror
do you look at yourself?
do you look inside yourself?
do you look beside yourself?

who will pick you up when you fall from grace?
will they catch you before you break face?
beautiful angel with the weakened wings
an invisible monster

when you implode in your car
when rubberneckers wonder who you are
when you stare down from up above
do you look at yourself?
do you look like yourself?
are you beside yourself?

are you sleeping? are you tired?
are you scared that if you close your eyes then everyone will see you?
are you running? are you afraid?
are you ready for the world to die so you can say you’re still alive?

who will pick you up when you fall from grace?
will they catch you before you break face?
beautiful angel with the broken wings
an invisible monster
your invisible monster
you’re invisible...



© Copyright 2001 nick bender - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-04-09 09:48 PM


This surely sounded like a good song. This poem should be a song. ANyhow I liked this a great deal. Quite impressive for a first post. Welcome to Passions!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-09 09:53 PM


Welcome to Passions!  

VERY nice first post!
I look forward to more...

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
3 posted 2001-04-09 10:55 PM


First of all, your screen name rules muchly.

Secondly, welcome to Passions.

And third, great poem.

"you suck!" Ha-Ha. Not really.  

I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. :)

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

4 posted 2001-04-09 11:21 PM


"who will pick you up when you fall from grace?
will they catch you before you break face?"
I LOVE THAT!! Actually, I just really really love this whole poem. I hope you like it here at Passions.. cause I want to read more from you!  
Great Job and take care
~Sarah

It's going into the library...

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-04-10 12:00 PM


Indeed, very impressive for a first post!  I especially liked how you trailed off of the thought at the end, it really did change the thought itself.     I totally love this poem.  
Welcome to Passions
I'm sure you'll love all the time you spend in here, your talent will take right off when you find yourself immersed in such a congregation of poets!  
Check your email for a special greeting on behalf of all of the members of PIP.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-04-10 02:33 AM


WELCOME TO PASSION hope you like your stay here and good job on the poem
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-04-10 09:21 AM


Welcome to passions!!  this is a great first post and it really shows that you have a lot of talent.  i look forward to reading lots more in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2001-04-11 05:11 PM


Welcome, and nice job.  I hope you post some more and enjoy it here  

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.  
Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum?

[This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 04-11-2001).]

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
9 posted 2001-04-11 05:53 PM


hey hun, wow this would make a really great song!! put a lil acustic in and youve got yourself a hit!! anyways, great first post! and i hope i see more of your stuff in passions
<3 kim

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
10 posted 2001-04-11 06:22 PM


I'd have to agree with the whole "this would make a good song" theory...that's one of the first things that ran through my mind when I read this.
Anyhoo, wow...I REALLY loved this poem! What an awesome first post - you've really set the bar for yourself around here now! JK   The ending really grabbed me for some reason...I dunno, it was just all-around wonderful. Looking forward to more.
See ya around - and WELCOME!
~K~
PS - Your name alone makes u one of my new favorite people around here  

"Don't spoons just make you smile? My friend is more of a FORK person, the butterknife makes me cry..." -Hallucinations in Blond

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
11 posted 2001-04-11 07:14 PM


Welcome to Passions! Hope you enjoy it here.
Nice job on the poem, i really liked it.

Some People Laugh At Me Cause I'm Different, Well, I Laugh At Them Cause They're All The Same.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-04-11 11:24 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Hope you enjoy your stay in here as we all do.  I would love to see more of your work.  thanks for sharing and I'd like you to know, you poem shows that you'd fit right in  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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