navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » nothing became of nothing
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic nothing became of nothing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
coalesce
New Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 9
canada

0 posted 2001-04-09 08:28 PM


if i could waste another year
waiting for,
waiting on,
nothing to become of nothing.
if thinking clearly has taken this long,
then wait for yours.
taint your heart with jealousy and wonder
why i can no longer fake a smile.
greed results in stains of regret
and i've ached for all the wrong reasons.
life forced into greyscale on one word,
blind to all that bears light.
i no longer base decisions on hope.
trying to figure out what life must be like
with a hollow chest.
continue shattering the dreams on innocence.

© Copyright 2001 fred feather - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2001-04-09 08:35 PM


   GREAT!!!!! This was simply Great. Man. Great....
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-09 08:44 PM


Wow.. this is an excellent post!  My favorite line was, "taint your heart with jealousy and wonder"
Very nicely done.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-04-09 08:45 PM


The images are wonderful in this, i really like this poem.  keep posting, i look forward to reading more of your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-09 09:03 PM


It's rare to see such a short poem with such a vast amount of content as this one has.  It seems like you took a long poem and removed all but the best lines.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-09 09:51 PM


Great poem. This poem had a lot of power. It said a lot in such short amounts.
Great job on this poem. Wonderful read!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Attack Ferrit
Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41
texas
6 posted 2001-04-09 09:59 PM


great poem.  short n sweet. "life forced into greyscale on one word" great line man.
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
7 posted 2001-04-10 09:30 AM


Great job, excellent read and i loved the lines "trying to figure out what life must be like with a hollow chest.". KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

8 posted 2001-04-10 09:34 AM


Very powerful poem.  I especially like the last line.  Great job!

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-04-14 07:02 PM


Now, that's what I call expression.  keep it up my friend

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » nothing became of nothing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary