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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
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since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-09 08:19 PM


Into a Dogwood's Eyes

A bee claps against my glass for show
It traveled far from the dogwood outside my window
It lies there not the bee but a tree
Blossoming its white buds for all to see
I envision the flowers yet I remain unmoved
In silence I dedicate this to no one
The chaotic branches symbols for no love
The exquisite blossoms represent a reservation for space
When I peer into its trunk I see no face
The bee is done clapping against my window
It's gone far away where I don't go
Probably back to the dogwood tree outside my window
As I watch now, the lily white buds opening
Perhaps a taste from what comes from patience and hoping
Beautiful tree, exquisite tree, wondrous tree
Why do you have no significance to me
Lying deep in unconsious desires
Dogwood tree you have relit my fires
Who I love, nobody to know
Except you dogwood tree outside my window
-----------------------------------
This is part 1 of a series of how many I feel like.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-04-09 08:42 PM


Well this is certainly a great start to a series.  beautifully done,i look forward to reading the rest.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-04-09 08:51 PM


  Ohh, nice work here.... I'm patiently awaiting part two!!
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-04-09 09:10 PM


Interesting... I'm going to be waiting for part two eagerly.  This was different for you Ozz, it's quite the nice departure... it shows a lot of your skills.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
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4 posted 2001-04-09 09:10 PM


Such a beautiful descriptive poem, my friend. I enjoyed it a lot. The dogwood is the most beautiful tree, I think, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this series. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-09 10:02 PM


I didn't like this one. I've read better from you. It was different and I appreciate the change in style, but it wasn't to my preference. To each his own, eh?

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2001-04-10 09:27 AM


This is great ver descriptiv and I eagerly await part 2.
Andrew

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

Acies
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Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-04-14 06:50 PM


This is great work.  One thing though, try using free verse instead of trying to rhyme.  I do believe it'll make this piece better.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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